I ain't been drinkin'
But if I was drinkin'
I think I'd be drinkin' bourbon
And right now you'd be a blur
And I wouldn't hear a word
'Cause I'd be good and drunk
That's for certain
I ain't been smokin'
But if I was smokin'
I know I'd be smokin' weed
When you blow all our money
I'd laugh; it'd be funny
'Cause high as a kite
Is where I'd be
I love you, baby
But sometimes, baby
You dance on my last nerve
And I get an insane kind of urge
I ain't been cheatin'
But if I was cheatin'
That's right, I'd be cheatin' on you
I am just a dreamer
Thank God, I ain't been cheatin'
'Cause if I was
I'd be losin' you
I ain't been drinkin', smokin', or cheatin'
'Cause if I was, I'd be losin' you