When you can't get laid Don't be afraid You've got a backup plan You've got a friend in hand Your girlfriend's always there And you've got a pair It's anyone that you want An imagined affair When you're stuck at work You find a place to jerk Then when you sneak away You're getting paid to play
And once you've got some spit You're gonna Spank da Mime Or you can rub your clit Until it's magic time When you're ready to beat your meat All you need is some motion and heat When you're ready to blow your crank You know you've got to spank You've got to Crank One Off