Woke up, got up
Put some cocoa in my cup
Same way I do every day
And then just for fun
I turned the radio on
To hear what the newsman had to say
After bad news, sad news
National and local news
I thought it couldn't get any worse
But then the newsman told me
'Bout the ozone hole, he said
"This could mean the end of Earth"
So I said to myself, I said
"Self, you gotta get outta here!"
'Cause there's a hole in the ozone
Get me to the red phone
This is an emergency!
Dial nine-one-one
I've got to tell someone
These ultra-violet rays
Are burning me
Call the firemen,
The President
The Army, Navy, Air Force
And Marines
'Cause there's a hole in the ozone
Get me to the red phone
This is an emergency!
Bags packed, roof racked
Thought I wasn't comin' back
I'd find a cave and hide from the sun
But then I realized
With a hole in the sky
This size, there was nowhere to run
Man, that burst my bubble
I was in deep trouble
If I could, I'd catch a rocket to Mars
We can't fly there yet,
So with deep regret,
I unpacked and got back out of my car
And I said to myself, I said
"Self, you gotta do something!"
'Cause there a hole in the ozone
Get me to the red phone
This is an emergency!
Dial nine-one-one
I've got to tell someone
These ultra-violet rays
Are burning me
Call the firemen,
The President,
The Army, Navy, Air Force
And Marines
'Cause there's a hole in the ozone
Get me to the red phone
This is an emergency!
I wrote a letter to my senator,
Said it's a disaster
I didn't know which way to turn
And I did not feel better
When I got a form letter
Addressed "To whom it may concern"
It said, "Me and my buddies
Say the problem needs more study
Twenty years should do the trick
So air conditioning's OK
Use those aerosol sprays
Fill out this questionnaire
If you get sick
So I said to myself, I said
"Self, you gotta write a song and tell somebody!"
'Cause there's a hole in the ozone
Get me to the red phone
This is an emergency!
Dial nine-one-one
I've got to tell someone
These ultra-violet rays
Are burning me
Call the firemen,
The President,
The Army, Navy, Air Force
And Marines
'Cause there's a hole in the ozone
Get me to the red phone
This is an emergency!
'Cause there's a hole in the ozone
That's growin' and growin'
Hey, this is a catastrophe!