Covered wagon medicine show Take you to the place where the healing flows Weak in spirit we got the juice won't save your soul it'll shine your shoes Treated king to kangaroo Santa Fe to Timbuktu Don't be fooled by imitation This is the stuff that cured a nation We took the tube and the high plains too Never stopped long just pa**ing through A drop of the laughter of the maids of France Makes a hopeless cripple dance It was really vile weather When we got to tarred and feathered You could hear the six guns sound As they chased us out of town In India we're all the rave Discovered that its great as aftershave Dropped in the sea just off Japan Swapped 20 bottles for an aqua-walkman Immunity from ridicule Improves your brains if you're a fool And I read in the Middle East They traded some for a hostage release Now if you're bald it'll give you hair
If you got straight trousers it'll give you flares Feeling up you'll get depressed Out of style here's a brand new dress It was really vile weather When we got to tarred and feathered You could hear the six guns sound As they chased us out of town The stuff we sell is just the best Pa**ing all consumer test Days of heaven nights of sin Voodoo stick and sharks fin When all around you seems like hell Just one sip will make you well Multipurpose in a jar If you ain't ill it'll fix your car In days of yore for all bad feelings Washing socks and stripping ceilings Nowadays its used medicinally For all known human malady It was really vile weather When we got to tarred and feathered You could hear the six guns sound As they chased us out of town Guaranteed don't you know Money back? You'll get a no! It's the one and only medicine show