[Verse 1:Bhekifa Stimela]
I am the stone that the builder done refused
My pain is my visual. My inspiration
Through it I sing the blues
I'm that spark that makes your idea bright
The same spark that lights
To make you tell your left from your right
I'm the ballot in the box
The bullet in the gun
The inner glow, that makes you call your little brother son
I'm the story that just begun. The promise of whats to come
And I'mma remain a soldier till the war is won
Sometimes I ask myself am I really scared of d**h
Well if its today I hope hear a
Cry from heaven so loud that it can water
Down my demons so they can drown in the floods of my deeds
I wrote my anger down just so my life sighs
Ridding me of the other side. Peace purposes I'm cleaning my room
The end may knock soon
But if I'm doomed
I pray that the dry tears of my heart be blessed for many moons
I've suffered a lot
And everyday that man in the mirror gets tougher to watch I tie my stomach in knots
And I'm not sure why my pictures of d**h
My imagination is surely an aggravation of threats
That can come about. I see it. My gift is mighty powerful
And I can name a list of your favorites that prolly vouch
Maybe its coz I'm a dreamer
And sleep is the cousin of d**h
I'm really stuck in this pain. Wondering when am I to rest
I'm right to say your brother is no brother to me
And your wife's situation is the one that put me
In a direction not to study life as I see it through my window screen
I keep mum trying not to offend or come between
You, her, and your sons. I'm making it warmer here in the cold
Cursing my life for 20 years. A story that'll never live to be told
Exactly what'd have happened if I didn't continue writing
And gave in to finding solace in d**, boy I'd be gone
But still I count days. All on these poems
Looking at the weak me and I cry. Hoping one day he'll be strong
Fighting for my rights. Even when I'm wrong
And I hope that the epiphany haunt you when I'm gone
Like was it worth it? Would you trade places to live it?
[Verse 2: Bhekifa Stimela]
I woke up this morning and figured I write this just in case I'm not here tomorrow
I'm hoping I can borrow
A piece of mind. I'm behind on whats really important
My mind's really distorted. I find nothing but grief and trouble in my life
I was once that kid that believed in a dream
But this orphanage I call a home is quite a routine
And through the nights its the same destruction or reaction
Just ghetto madness I know exactly what happens
I'm thrown outside and only handsome for some money help
Smile at me like a new born baby and make me feel like everything is alright
But the fight I try to put up with the type of knife that's stuck in my back I can't smile for real
And tho I got blood spilled on my arms___my plans rather vindictive
Everybody's a victim in my eyes. When I ride. Its a murderous rhythm
And my past smiles became pitch black
A demon glued to my back whispering "get 'em"__I got 'em
And I don't give a f**
Shoot back I'm ready that mentality tells me not to duck
See now actuality is a trip I would trip off. No conscience
I wonder if I could ever discover a pa**ion like then
And recover the life I knew as a young un in PJs and turn around
Let thunder come down and rain cats and dogs dum
She said people like me never prosper. Prognosis
And I'm a problem child. But proud and well devoted
This hardcore spirit's been in me forever
So forever I'mma push it wherever whenever
And I love you coz you once loved me like you did
Thought you'd still love me even when I'm big
And if I die before we meet again I hope you_______
Well now I'm solid as a rock. See I was potted from a rock
Came from rock bottom. Got my name through the shots
Eye lashes are like umbrellas when it rains from the heart
And the tissue like an angel kissing me in the dark
[Verse 3: Bhekifa Stimela]
She wrote a song about me and called it "That slima is bewitched"
And played it to the crowd. The message was she was right and I'll be forever wrong
Whats crazy was that I heard about it but doubted your ignorance
How could you ever just go back on me like that
Turn around and shoot me in the face like that
Well I guess its called a future it changes 'snap' like that
And I need that peace even if I gotta lie fake or rename
I got no mama. I'm preceded by big blanks on my family tree
My sister feeling in for your gang of three
Matter fact she my favorite coz she supports me with ease
I got a girlfriend called Lala and I seen her last week
The life of a good soul damaged by the system
This foster home I run away from and never do miss 'em
See my hormones just run away and if I could get em back
To where they used to be then you need to lose your demons
Get you a family meal. Show your women how to be women
Or better yet I lead ya. I need ya to learn something
But you prolly need to be here. Thats snack for thought
Eaves drop on her talk. Thats how I was taught
And I'm broken. But f** that sorry for her own kids
My joy died in vein. What point were you trying to gain if you can't fit the pumps I walk in
_______I'll wait______
Your love is a little too fake
And if you have a family day just make sure I'm not on the show
Coz I don't need the embarra**ments I'm bringing enough of that on my own
And matter fact did I mention that I physically feel great
A doctor's approval is a waste of time I know I'm straight
I'll prolly live longer than you think. I might get my hair grey
I'll never fade away oh no I know my fate
I'm a man to the end betcha I'll die standing
I look into the face of danger with no intentions of running
You lying if you think your hate is a way of helping
You can help me if you get me to run away from you
Or if you don't out-shout my music so I can ignore you forever
I bleed through these beats with the thoughts of an a**a**in
Every sin to a wage. Every dog to a day
Won't see your day but I hope its loud enough for me to catch the echo
To forgive you is a long shot so you better have your Rabi on speed dial