When I got to the party they gave me a forty
And I must have been thirsty
Cause I drank it so quickly
When I got to the bedroom
There was somebody waiting
And it isn't my fault that the barbarian raped me
When I went to get tested I brought along my best friend
Melissa Mahoney (who had once been molested)
And she knew how to get there
She knew all the nurses; they were all very friendly
But the test came out positive
I've seen better days but I don't care
Cause I just sent a letter in the mail
When I got my abortion I brought along my boyfriend
We got there an hour before the appointment
And outside the building were all these annoying
Fundamentalist christians; we tried to ignore them
I've had better days but I don't care
Oasis got my letter in the mail
When vacation was over
The word was all over that I was a crackwho*e
Melissa had told them
And so now we're not talking except we have tickets
To see Blur in October and I think we're still going
I've seen better days but I don't care
Oh, I just got a letter in the mail
Oasis sent a photograph it's autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself I swear