(Emily Kaitz)
My Daddy was a man of letters
My Mama was a head of state
And when they got their chromosomes together
They gave me all of their recessive traits
I'm an embarra**ment to evolution
My disposition is unstable and cruel
My blood's a catastrophic blend
'Cause I'm from the shallow end of the gene pool
My IQ is a negative number
I've got a sense of humor no one can stand
And my development was seriously encumbered
By playing music with the Lounge Lizards band
I'm a social director's nightmare
At dinner parties I just babble and drool
It's not easy making friends
When you're from the shallow end of the gene pool
Chorus:
I'm from the shallow end of the gene pool
My x-rays make the doctors laugh
When they tried to chart my EEG waves
Well I wasn't even on the graph
Biological research is booming
They're making breakthroughs like you wouldn't believe
They say genetic engineering in humans
Will someday soon be a reality
I'm gonna get me a DNA transplant
They're gonna rearrange my molecules
Some natural laws will have to bend
To get me from the shallow end of the gene pool