[Verse 1]
I'm doing what I love so why do I feel empty?
If God's a betting man, well then I guess he bet against me
My dad's a prick, why am I bitter that he left me?
Getting older isn't easy, no-one asked if I was ready
I fill my time with these extravagant distractions
Searching for fulfillment but so far that hasn't happened
I was sober for four years, I did a backflip off that wagon
Living fast to die young so Ashtin can't regret his actions
Lately it's been so insane, f** with girls, don't know their names
I hope and pray to gods I don't believe in that my soul is saved
Showing no restraint, my shoulders holding so much weight
But these arms strong, call Billie Joe
Saint Jimmy needs his Novacaine
These kids see me as someone that they relate to
They tell me that my music gives them somewhere to escape to
I've made a haven for these strangers' brains to stay in
But it's funny; I use music to medicate too
I'm no celebrity; I'm just a human being
I'm scared of spiders and dying and people leaving
Behind the mask, there's a kid crying and screaming
In a hospital bed whose father wouldn't come out and f**ing see him
I'm a living, breathing person who wears his heart on a sleeve
And that heart's still beating; sometimes it's hard to believe
If this music that I make can just offer you some relief
I can sleep, knowing life ain't as horrible as it seems
[Verse 2]
Would you give up everything you know to make it?
I came a long way from spitting writtens in my basement
What happens if I blow up and get famous but I hate it?
I thought I wanted this, I can't afford to be mistaken
'Cause all these risks I'm taking are taking tolls on my mind
Now I'm at a point that's crucial, I gotta stay on my grind
Put my heart in my music, leave all that I know behind
It's unexplored territory, I hope I like what I find
Who's even writing this? Ashtin or Jeremy?
I don't know, and that thought is kinda scaring me
Think about a year from now, I really wonder where I'll be
I treat this music like it's therapy
'Cause music's always been there for me, music never laughed at me
Music never shot me down, music only empowered me
Music always had my back when everyone abandoned me
When I was down, music picked me up and f**ing carried me
When I was at my lowest and felt like nobody cared for me
Sitting in a hospital bed, music was there for me
Trapped in my own head, certain that it'd be the d**h of me
It was music that came and set me free
Yeah