Olmate from primary had a 21st
and I finished work at 10:30
the theme was rock'n'roll and I didn't know what to bring
so I pulled out my jumpsuit to come as The King
the gla**es, the leis, the hair, the belt
the man I respect cause there ain't no-one else like Elvis, Presley
the lightning bolt says TCB
so give us a hand to close the machines
cause someone forgot to give us the keys
10:35 and I'm leaving soon
I change out of uniform in the back room
and I'm singin', da da da, da da da
and i'm singin', Da da da
I put on the gla**es, I put on the suit
and I'm singin', da da da, da da da
and i'm singin', Da da da
dad picks us up from the back dock at Top Ryde
jump in the back door for the short drive
down to my olmate from primary's house near Monash Oval
and it's almost 11 o'clock
so I rock up to the front dock and I knock
and I hear the party people singing "Happy Birthday to You"
in the backyard
I jump the fence and scale the guard
sneak up the side as the song goes on;
"Happy birthday dear Olmate, happy birthday to you"
and right as the last hooray dies down
I find myself an inadvertant clown
cause the whole party's looking straight at me
cause the fact is they didn't expect to see
a random c*nt in an elvis suit
behind the cake out of nowhere
I just made an epic entrance without trying
and I'm singin', da da da, da da da
and i'm singin', Da da da
a deer in the headlights behind the cake
and I'm singin', da da da, da da da
and i'm singin', Da da da
so 1am, I walk home
it's a quiet night in Gville and I'm alone
with a closed kebab shop, Souvlaki Hut
a dodgy carwash, a dodgy carwash
hey it's Elvis, wait, it's Art Rush
you're a sick c*nt, have a good night bra
didn't recognise him, it's a strange night bra
cause I feel the spirit of the King is pa**ing through these empty streets
a venue full of empty seats
I get to the G-ville cop shop, what do I see?
there's a huge fight in the road
two gangs of twelve, smashed bottles and a load of cops
what the f**? since when? why there?
the cops are struggling to get control of this huge brawl going on
".."
so I get a sudden rush of courage
I run up to these fried c*nts in a hurry
strike the karate pose and yell
chill out or I'll take yous all
and they drop balls
and all these crooks
stop and look
caught in a spotlight, deer in a headlight
to break up a gang fight, I might die tonight
I got Elvis on my side
and I'm singin', da da da, da da da
and i'm singin', Da da da...