[Intro]
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[Verse]
I don't even know where the f** to start with you, after this I want no parts of you/
I'm forgiving you even though it's hard to do, I'ma let it go cuz God wants me to
So much hatred in my heart, I was raised in the dark, you'd kick me out I'd stay in the park/
Raise the bar, my face has a scar, let's just say you made your mark
Take it back to '92, I was 5 trying to make a life with you/
You'd leave me alone every night trying to find a dude, you would come back fighting I'd side with you
He'd take off then I'd hide from you, when CPS showed up, I'd lie for you/
Just get it right is all I try to do, when life wasn't right I wouldn't cry to you
All alone in a foster home, too young to understand what's going on/
I had no concerns with going home, Sarah (redacted) was my only mom
Long sleeves covered up the accidents and the slash on wrists from past events/ my back's against the wall I cannot take it all I never asked for this
But I wasn't an addict then, you just had my sis and her daddy split/
You f**ed every man in Madison, but I didn't know how good I had it then
On a school night she's squalwing again, you wouldn't wake up had to crawl in her crib/
Give her a bottle and sh**, all of that sh**, I'm raising your kid I was only ten!
You went and had more children, but it was me that would babysit 'em/
At school I was missing in attendance, disciplined with after-school detention
I come home late , so you start your b**hin, 3 kids starving in the kitchen/
Not to mention in school suspension for the homework I didn't get finished
And my lyrics were well written, so I attended a rap audition/
Spittin wicked, about to win it, I advanced twice in the competition
But you insisted that I miss it, made me go to a job just to quit it/
I never existed as a kid when you had me living within this prison
And the child abuse continued (ohhh), everyone pretended they didn't know/ navy blue ribbon pinned on my clothes, your men would come, your men would go
Fast forward a few years you didn't miss much, a few suicide attempts but I've been a drunk/
Alcoholic since 10 I'm not giving up, I moved out of hell I'ma live it up!
You made me move back cuz you was getting beat, but I only came back for my siblings see/
You let him kick me out on Christmas Eve, sitting in the freezing rain twistin a swisher sweet
No one gets our history, pieces missing that's a mystery/
Still existing in my memory, but I'm not as gifted as my sister see
I got split personalities, get this person outta me/
Twist the ends until I drift into the galaxy
I begin loosing count of the, prob-lems that's surrounding me/
Pretend it will end, and then whims of reality
Listen to the sounds of the, fists coming down on me/
Cleanse my sins, yeah, hit the sh** out of me!
Forget just grounding me, another attempt at drowning me/
And you don't have friends because "they hate being arounda me"
And where the f** is your daddy at? If he wanted you back he'd have your a**/
If you want to leave so bad then pack your bags, b**h get a maxipad with your ragging a**
And where the f** is my Paxil at? Make an 'Exit Bag' and I'm off to hell/
For God so loved the world that he makes you burn if you decide to off yourself!
And i bet there's someone out there that wants children, but just can't have any/
Who took a look at you and asked God why the hell he gave your a** plenty
Look at all the bullsh** I've been through, ever since you got pregnant with you know who/
Your a** is coo coo so he flew the coop, so f** that motherf**er and f** you too!
I ain't apologizing for sh**! Got a bottle within my grip/
Got a pen and pencil with a sick instrumental, I'll spit about a mental b*tch!
What kind of mother puts her child in jail? Felony charges, but I posted bail/
I beat the charges and I'm living well, but won't stop getting you back till we're both in hell! f** you!