**capital steez intro**
[Verse One]
The most f**ed up era of my entire life
Was from 2008-2009
What if i told you if i contemplated murder or even suicide?
sh** crossed my mind at the time
It my 15th birthday out eating w/ my girls
Til i got a call, that ruined my whole world
Some punk motherf**er k**ed my best friend
Nobody knew who it was; too afraid to confess
He shot into a crowd and hit him
Didn't even know who the f** he was!
He was just a punk b**h on d**
Wanting to cause a fight and fuss
I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye, why'd you have to go?
Remember that one time we went to that party in montebello?
We walked around to find somebody who was actually out to use their phone
Remember when he hit that spot of the 105 by the blue line and we heard gun shots?
You told me stay flat on the ground, so we were on the freeway flat
For like an hour, had nothing to do but laugh
Every time i was sad, you were the one person who'd have my back
Little did that motherf**er know he was about to be a dad
And it happened to be the best guy friend i've ever had
I was crazy, insane, out my brain
Couldn't even maintain to remain the same
Doing some crazy as thangs
My anger controlled my grief
Plus i tried coke and sh**, so i didn't sleep
Just cry and weep
Why the f** did it have to be me?
I took my anger out on my family
All because of my grief and animosity
Hate is a strong word-
But i hate the motherf**er for making my best friend's baby a ba*tard
Now i'm sitting in tears, just reminiscing over the years
****
[Verse Two]
The only way i deal with grief
Is the same way i'm losing sleep
Up all night, i got demons to fight
Taking flight with all this anger on my mind
Grief in heart, liquor in my veins, just to maintain my life day to day
Don't take life for granted
Be happy you're livin, you take the chances and grab them
You got a life, be happy that you have it
Smoking blunts, crushing up e pills, sniffin' lines, eatin shrooms
All bugged out, high as f**, tagging in ya room
That ain't the way to go
Almost lost my cousin that way
So please don't do what they say
Be positive even if you're feelin a little pessimistic
Cuz life is still there even if it's negative sh**