[Verse 1: Iron Man]
I was living the life, yes I was having so much fun
I was winning awards I didn't even know I won
And just in case you can't tell
All of that went straight to hell
When I was was kidnapped by
Some Afghan guy
Who made me build a missile
Or I would die
I got a magnet in my chest
Thanks to this guy wearing a vest (Who dies but)
I am able to give them all the boot
With the fire I can shoot
From this really kick-a** suit
That can also fly (For like 8 seconds)
But after some improvements using robotic tools
I was able to make the suit way more cool
Then I got rebellious
Obadiah Stane got jealous
And he stole my heart in a completely non-gay way (Ooh, ooh)
In a completely non-gay way (Ooh, ooh)
And so I k**ed him
[Verse 2: The Incredible Hulk]
I've been living in a third world country
Which is kind of ironic since I'm trying not get angry
I've been working in a bottle factory
Then I got discovered and tracked down by the military
Then back in New York, I found my girlfriend
I destroyed a helicopter and then
This guy got jealous of me (Deja vu)
And then he became a muscly freak too
Kinda wish I had k**ed him
[Verse 3: Iron Man 2]
The Stark Expo's back and now that everyone knows
That I'm a superhero and Hammer Tech blows
My life is great, nothing can go wrong, oh wait
Some Russian guy wants me to die
And so I k**ed him… Okay I lied
The Russian went on work for Hammer Tech
I found a cross-word puzzle on my neck
And so I threw a party
And I really partied hardy until
Rhodey came in, kicked my a**, and stole my suit
And now the Russian guy has drones
And I'm pretty much all alone
Since Pepper abandoned me
Rhodey's a War Machine
My chest is k**ing me
So I invent a new element
Shaped like a triangle
And then I k**ed that Russian guy
[Verse 4: Thor]
In the land of Asgard I'm about to be king
Until I disobey my father which kinda screws up everything
Stripped of powers, banished to Earth, hilarity ensues
I get arrested by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I fall in love with a Jew
While I'm gone, Loki takes over Asgard
Without my powers, k**ing this giant cyclops thing is really hard
Through the power of Odin's tear, I get my powers back
And now I have no choice but to counter Loki's attack
By k**ing him… Kind of… Not really…
[Verse 5: Captain America]
I wanted to be an American soldier
But instead they gave me the cold shoulder
They thought I'd get k**ed easily
Just because I have a few health difficulties
So to save myself the embarra**ment
I partake in a dangerous experiment
That gives me biceps, pecks, and abs
I can also run slightly faster
So I go murder some Nazi ba*tards
Led by a guy whose named Red Skull for some reason
And so I k**ed him (Right before crashing into the Arctic and freezing over for several decades)
I wake up in the future where I have to adjust
To seeing black people sitting in the front of the bus
And so just when I think that this is all a bad dream
This black guy tells me about joining a team
[Verse 6: The Avengers]
Now, we all are obligated to join forces
Even though we hate each other for some bizarre reason
And, well, we can't k** each other since we're all equally matched
So we might as well stop this plan that Loki has hatched
[Tony] Wait Loki's alive?
[Thor] Indeed
[Tony] What the hell!?
[Thor] Bruce didn't k** the Abomination
[Tony] Yeah Bruce, what the hell was that about?
[Bruce] Well… My… Girlfriend… Told me… Not to…
[Tony] ...p**y
A portal opens, Loki's army attacks
Insert fight scene, we have each other's backs
Rather suspenseful since Tony almost dies
Loki is stopped thanks to Thor, Captain America, Hulk, Iron man… And these guys
[Outro]
AND SO WE KILLED HIM!
[Thor] Well, we didn't k** him we just sort of beat the sh** out of him
SO WE BEAT THE sh*t OUT OF HIM!