[Hook:]
Julia Stiles, I got
Hello matey it’s me, the so shapely overweighty fat f**
I'm ice-cream cone crazy
Oreo tasting, my father don’t praise me
With a beach ball gut like I carry my own baby
Skin so flakey like a painting in the Louvre (true)
Socially awkward, I'm strange and I'm aloof
They made me in a petrie dish, raised me in a tube
Now I'm driving round the city with a lady in my boot (let me out)
Innately I'm frustrating, just a vacant kinda dude
Go walking like I'm Walter, wake up naked in a fugue
Too many buegs and I'm slower than the YouTube sloth
Want to f** with me? You do not
I'm fat, you should see me with my muumuu off
Now rappers want to kiss me where my do-do was
See I smuggled in some googs in my Fubu socks
Catch me going f**ing mental in a Bluejuice mosh
[Hook]
It’s the fat f** boy with the flabby gut
Breathing down the phone, you're like "go away, I’m hanging up" (grr)
But can he bust quicker than a junkie with his bally up
Been days since smacking up, don’t even get me angry, punk
See I'm frustrating myself to be around me
I'm like a twelvie towny, a real freaking downy
Found me in your driveway, just tryna key your Audi
Wake up crying in a sweat from a dream of Bieber drowning
Astoundingly disgusting, there’s really nothing there
In my brain, so deranged, I feel pain punching air
Cause I can’t mow the lawn and the neighbours love to stare
And my dad's like, "yeah, you gotta grow a f**ing pair"
And my life is Solitaire but I'm too dumb for cards
Too hyper for Monopoly, I’m too drunk for bars
More obese than Toadie, got a humongous arse
Tryna f** all the time like I’m Susan and Karl
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you’re always right, I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close
Not even a little bit, not even at all
[Hook]