I'm the kinda guy who can't stand the holiday
So I drink em all away, that's me
I don't decorate no trees
And I won't eat no potato laces
But I'll give this old lady's melons a squeeze
That's just who I am
Well I'll never spin a dreidle
But I'll always throw an egg
And I'll charlie horse your leg for laughs
While you're singin' your holiday tune
I'm actin' like a town buffoon
With an out my big white scary moon
And blowin' out beef your way
I hate folks who think reindeer are cute
To me, they're just somethin' to shoot
I hate love
I hate you
I hate me
Well I'm a snowmobile stealin', no tears the season feelin' kind of guy
This time of year s**s
So I take my nun-chucks
And make sure every snowman dies
Believing in Santa's all wrong
And Hanukkah's eight nights too long
I hate love
I hate you
I hate me
I hate love
I hate you
I hate me