I should be dead, maybe I've got nine lives
Seven left, cause I've already died twice
I'm glad it wasn't bye-bye
Cause it's my time to do it without the high life
What I'm making is really dope
But I need to talk about some sh** that happened a year ago
Hold up, let me clear my throat
Yo I'm about to get deep, but I really hope you feel it though
See talking about it hurts
It's when I was an addict, but I was at my worst
No one knew, I couldn't tell one person
Couldn't bring myself to do it cause I felt like a burden
Give me any drug, I was chewing them up
If I have nine lives, then I'm using them up
No one knew my addiction, it was stupid as f**
90 pills daily of Nurofen Plus
I know that's extreme, and I should be dead right
But I was so f**ed up, my tolerance was that high
That's the thing with the codeine addiction
It's over-the-counter so you don't need prescriptions
That's three packets in a day
I didn't get high, but I would have them anyway
Cause if I didn't take them, then I'd be hitting withdrawals
And guess what, all of this was mid-tour
And I can't play in this form
Having sh** thoughts like I've got nothing to live for
I was a zombie, I couldn't feel nothing
I smashed four packets cause I just wanted to feel something
Yo I overdosed for sure
I was at the venue, I was going to perform
I can't remember, see I was told in the report
My tour manager found me convulsing on the floor
Everyone surrounding, no one knowing what it's for
Literally no one knew that I was going through it all
I f**ed up, I should be knowing this before
I'm a f**ing junkie, how am I going on a tour?
I let down my fans, and I owe it to them all
That's why I'm being honest and so open with it all
It's so hard no one knowing what is wrong
I can't talk about it so I wrote it in this song
Woke up in hospital, going through withdrawals
Someone guarding my bed, but nobody would talk
No phone there, nobody to call
Saying "what the f** is going on" and no one would inform me
And I'm not knowing what it's for
Tubes everywhere, if only I could walk
A man approaches, "Am I alright Doc?"
Then he tells me I'm on suicide watch
I'm a danger to myself, I wouldn't believe him
I didn't try to k** myself, but they wouldn't believe me
I spent a month in a hospital bed
Living in a nightmare, and I just want it to end
I'm thinking to myself, have I got any friends?
Or friends that don't use, have I got any left?
There's many times where I'd want to be dead
But we've lots too many and I don't want to be next
Now I'm happy that I got me some rest
I know for sure now that I don't want it again
The harder I hit the gym, then the stronger I get
The more the devil on my shoulder hasn't got any strength
I let my fans and my family down
The people standing by me are like family now
Yo I'm sorry to anyone who's a fan of me
I understand if you wanted to abandon me
But if it wasn't for my family
I would have tied the knot in the rope the devil handed me
I've gotta' show my father and my mum love
And let them know it's not them that f**ed up
Now you've got a quality son
If I say I'm going to do it, then the job will get done
I embrace any pain, now I'm not gonna' run
The gym's a new addiction, but a positive one
The battle with addiction is a battle on its own
The worst part is I tried to battle it alone
So if you're hearing this, and you're battling at home
Tell somebody because your family should know
I'm loving life now, I'm getting it back
If I can do this sh**, f**ing anyone can
I can't remember cause I blacked out
But I wouldn't change a thing, cause it made me who I am now