[verse 1: 360]
I should be dead, maybe i got 9 lives
7 left cause ive already die twice, im glad it wasn't bye-bye
Cause its my time to do it without the high life
What im making is really dope but i need to talk about some sh** that happend a year ago
Hold up let me clear my throat
Yo im bout to get deep but i really hope you feel it tho
See talking bout it hurts, its when i was an addict but i was at my worst
No one knew i didn't tell one person couldn't bring myself to do it cause i felt like a burden
Give me any drug i was chewing em up
If i had 9 lives then im using them up
No one knew my addiction, it was stupid as f**
90 pills daily of neurophine plus
I know thats extreme and i should be dead right
But i was so f**ed up my tolorence was that high
Thats the thing with the codeine addiction
Its over the counter so you dont need perscriptions
Thats three packets in a day, i didn't get high but i would have em anyway
Cause if i didn't take em then id be hitting withdraws and guess what
All of this was mid tour
And i can't play in this form having sh** thoughts like ive got nothing to live for
I was a zombie i couldn't feel nothing
I smashed four packets cause i just wanted to feel something
[Verse 2: 360]
Yo, i over dosed for sure
I was at the venue, i was going to perform
I can't remember, see i was told in the report
My tour manager found me convulsing on the floor
Everyone surrounding me and no one knowing what its for
Literally no one knew that i was going through it all
I f**ed up, i should be knowing this before
Im a f**ing junkie how am i going on a tour
I let down my fans and i owe it to em all
Its why im being so honest and open with it all
Its so hard not knowing what is wrong
I can't talk about it so i wrote it in this song
Woke up in a hospital going through withdraws
Someone guarding my bed but no body would talk
No phone there, no body to call
Saying what the f** is going on and no one would inform me
And im not knowing what its for
Tubes everywhere if only i could walk
A man approaches, am i alright doc then he tells me im on suicide watch
Im a danger to myself
I wouldn't believe him, i didn't try to k** myself
But they wouldn't believe me, i spent a month in a hospital bed
Living in a nightmare and i just wanted to end im thinking to myself
Have i got any friends or friends who dont use
Have i got any left?
Theres many times where id want to be dead but we've lost to many and i dont wanna be next
Now im happy that i got me some rest
I know for sure now that i want it again
The harder i hit the gym then the stronger i get
The more the devil on my shoulders hasnt got any strenght
I let my fans and my family down
But the people standing by me are like family now
[Verse 3: 360]
Yo, im sorry to anyone whos a fan of me
I understand if you wanted to abandon me
But if it wasn't for my family, i wouldve tied the not and the rope the devil handed me
I gotta show my father and my mum love
And let them know that its not them that f**ed up
Now you got a quality son
If i say im gonna do it then the job will get done
I embrace any pain, now im not gonna run
The gyms a new addiction but a positive one
The battle with addictions a battle on its own
The worst part is i tried to battle it alone
So if your hearing this and your battling at home
Tell someone because your family should know
Im loving life now im getting it back
If i can do this sh** f**en anyone can
I can't remember cause i blacked out
But i wouldn't change a thing cause it made me who i am now