Sautéed Asparagus
• 12-14 pieces asparagus
• 1 tablespoon bu*ter
• Olive oil
• Kosher salt, black pepper, garlic powder
1. Drape yourself in an Adidas sweatsuit, chainz N thangs
2. Drizzle olive oil in a pan and add bu*ter, making sure not to spill any on your Adidas sweatsuit
3. Cue up "Mainstream Rachet" and start it from the top
4. Place asparagus into pan
5. Cook 5 to 6 minutes, until asparagus is crispy or song is over. If the song is over, start it from the top
6. Season asparagus with salt, pepper and garlic powder
7. Serve warm, lean back and vibe out
"Me Time" Sauce
• Old Bay seasoning
• 4 tablespoons mayonnaise
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 2 tablespoons BBQ sauce
• Lemon juice
1. Go to the mall, spend a handful of racks on a new outfit for the night
2. Get a manicure and pedicure
3. Spend some more "me time" at the house, catching up on old seasons of The Wire
4. When done, mix all ingredients and sprinkle Old Bay seasoning
5. Stir until you reach a rich, deep pinkish color
6. Add "extra" BBQ sauce if desired