Alison Carney - Stream of Consciousness lyrics

[Intro] *Sounds within a hospital. Shallow breathing* [Verse: PHZ-Sicks] The day I saw you take your last breath Made me feel like I took my own last breath I mean how can you comprehend Knowing that these are the last moments that you'll ever spend With a person that changed your life Showed you what love is, gave you day and night Every memory becomes vivid as the world keeps spinning Lysozymes in my vision, praying for another minute But how the f** could we spend it? We can meditate or I can tell you everything in my spirit Smell of disinfectants, heart monitor beeping louder than my message So, give me a sign that you can hear it? Can you hear my cries? Can you hear my byes? If this is the cold truth, can we live in lies? I don't wanna go on, I don't wanna move on So I put this in a song so I carry on Everything that you taught me, everything that you brought me Took me so long to find myself, now I feel like I lost me I did, a huge part of me Like that cancer that the doctors couldn't cut out So, what not? Tell me what to do now? You live in my words, you live in my actions You said don't live in the past, just move forward past them So I can teach my future about you and everything that you said Is the only way that I can truly ever raise the dead Your life will never be in vain If your life is flowing through my veins I'm trying to turn gold out of this pain I miss you and that's without saying I'm tired, just hoping to make it through this day (Day), Day (day), Day (day), Day (day) I just need time (time), time (time) time (time) Time (time), time The first time I met my Grandfather Would also be the last time in Benton Harbor But I'm honored cause that is further Than anything I ever had with my own father Looking at a picture of my dad holding me and in it I am crying It was probably a year before he left and I would be lying If I said, it didn't affect me when left me I think it about every now and then and that sh** still perplex me It's cool you didn't want to marry my mom, n***a Because of that, you had to stop being a father figure Funny thing is, I don't even know if he's alive or dead And I thought ‘bout our conversation and what would be said Like, how you doing? Did you lose your hands so a phone you couldn't pick up? Do I have a brother or sister? How could you forget me out the picture? Did you ever think of me? Did you ever consider me? Damn, a son without a father would be missing you so was you missing me? Damn, it's my unsolved mystery That ancestry to me will be a long gone history Erase his mistake when my name is no longer Dorsey Don't repeat his mistake cause that life will become before me My goal's to be something you can never be, man Something you can never be, a man Man, man, man Man, no father figure, skinny n***a with a temper Almost took a life I remember In seconds, a whole life could be change And we take for granted some of the most trivial things Like the fact that I'm walking and breathing Have the opportunity to change the world from what I'm speaking Ha, so I vow in my time in this body, I'll make a difference Leave behind a manual for all the future Princes and Princess It's my hopeless, magnus opus It's my hopeless, mangus opus Yes, yes, yes, yes