Aline Brosh McKenna - Textmergency lyrics

[Rocker #1] Time is running out You've got to act now Stay one step ahead Of that moronic text somehow [Rocker #2] There's no turning back Here in the danger zone You've got to manually delete that text From that dude's cell phone! [Rebecca Bunch played by Rachel Bloom, Spoken] Thank you, officers! [Police Officer, Spoken] Good luck, Rebecca! [Both Rockers #1 & 2] It's a textmergency [Rocker #1] Baby can't you see Textmergency That term just occurred to me It's gonna catch on instantly! [Rocker #2] Wait, what about texttastrophe? That sounds better to me! Texttastrophe! That could really spread virally! [Rocker #1] I prefer textmergency [Rocker #3] I accidentally texted my mother-in-law A picture of my erection [Rocker #4] I once group texted my whole staff About my yeast infection! [Rocker #1] Exactly! It's so relatable That's why I coined the phrase… [Rocker #2] Texttastrophe! That's the meme, don't you agree? [Rocker #1] All due respect, Textmergency Is the better term, Miss C [Rocker #2] Hmmm, I wanna go with texttastrophe I already put it on Urban Dictionary [Ghost of Steve Jobs, spoken] You fools! It doesn't matter what it's called That's right, it's me The ghost of Steve Jobs What matters is that I control Your lives from the grave! Technology is slowly alienating Everyone from their loved ones Ha, ha, ha, ha! And when you send a few words To the wrong recipient And it immediately destroys your life That's called a messagepocalypse! [All Rockers] Get out of here, Steve Jobs! [Rocker #3] Guys, what about that lawyer chick? We've gotten really off track… [Rocker #1] She's searching for the spare key Looked under the mat! [Rocker #2] It's clearly hidden in that owl! [Rocker #3] Look in that flower pot, hurry! [Rocker #4] Hurry up and check that Buddha sconce [All Rockers] Check the Buddha sconce, check the Buddha sconce! [Rocker #1] She did it! Now she can delete the text She won't need to come up with a textcuse! [Rocker #2] Texplanation! [Rocker #1, spoken] Textmergency just flows [Rocker #2, spoken] No, dude, texttastrophe, it's what it is [Rocker #3, spoken] Dude, she's totally right [Rocker #4, spoken] Text-scuse me!