Alina Pleskova - Alight lyrics

first 48 hours post-landing are the sweet spot: part-troposphere, brain a bundle of unguarded nerves, generous to every rush of perception swayed by how locals say That's alright, hand wave putting kindness back into the air instead of You're welcome, as in a transfer of something owed after two carafes of wine, burrow back into someone else's word-hovel all hangover, all hummingbird-hearted, a bundle of sensitivities Ariana Reines says It's dangerous to have feelings when you don't have any money but corporate's got this so I'm selling out so I'm crying in the battery-powered candlelight of this overpriced bra**erie ♢ ♢ ♢ one day per time zone is the accepted recovery rate for jet lag maybe this applies to other bodily phenomena like vulnerability, wherever that gets made Hacking body with light could speed jet lag recovery explains the Internet I'm a feelings hack; it wasn't always this way I used to trust them, whatever they were in the moment, to lead ♢ ♢ ♢ to fall in love w/ anyone all you need to do is answer 36 questions, says the Times hey, I was wondering— Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? ♢ ♢ ♢ It took an acid trip to dredge my first love epiphany to surface Allie said, What are you afraid of? while I shook in the pitch-dark woods Being so certain ♢ ♢ ♢ the Brits are indiscriminate w/ terms of endearment despite their low thresholds for sentimentality darling, dearie, love, love, love the bus driver, the deli cashier, the receptionist I mean yea, it's just a word but when I think of your face, the word becomes mist when I tell myself to think on that, the thought ricochets so I shut the light off ♢ ♢ ♢ today, the giant bruise on the back of my arm tinges brown-blue I've stopped romanticizing bruises as mood indicators since they all heal basically the same this is surely a sign of maturity hang my one decent blazer to unwrinkle while I shower think of baking out hotel bathrooms w/ the one I left & our willful roach burns somewhere a cloud swelling from his drawn-out messages I would've done it just the same without them is what I'd say if I ever wanted it again ♢ ♢ ♢ swish past cows, wildflower fields, towns w/ fairytale names businessman's intermittent throat clearing even pleasant futile spy w/ my black trench, flip notebook full of obvious things: longing, Appleford, yellow flowers, distance as a safety catch want to keep riding this train into oblivion head suddenly absent of the usual static intrusions like existential dread or blanket panic or deadlines do exist, are presently unknown warmed in my favorite scarf & thinking of the Lewis Warsh poem I read to your voicemail because it had the lines Denying something, I sometimes think, is the same as admitting it. I admit you into my thoughts without even trying. & I do, & now it's time to disembark ♢ ♢ ♢ thought I'd chainsmoke around the clock here but am never relaxed enough, upright in the open office, watching trees whip around waiting for the poem to stop before I'm found out or wedged between two chemists on the train, talking molecules while I glare into the book Emma lent me People who are harder to love pose a challenge, and the challenge makes them easier to love slump into the seat, tune back to the chemists & their compounds but the book goes on People who want their love easy don't really want love ♢ ♢ ♢ made it this far without mentioning the rain here it is it's perfect just as relentless as movies & that Magnetic Fields song have us believe I carry an umbrella but never use it, head wrapped like a babushka instead another way, in my ever-expanding list of ways to feel less American which is to say, elegant in the face of my boorishness at least my reflection looks Russian, I think, then call my mother & see how long I can go w/o English interludes but I forget the word for restless, though she's been saying it my whole life long