I wake up every morning, Six o'clock, I'm right on time I eat a low fat breakfast, I tie a perfect tie I kiss the wife, I hug the kids, I pat the dogs and cats I never lose anything, my car keys or my hat 'Cause I'm the man of the year I'm the man of the year I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school My urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a j**el 'Cause I'm the man of the year I'm the man of the year 'Cause I'm the man of the year I'm never, ever jealous Never, ever cruel I'm a graduate of Harvard Where I never broke the rules The queen made me a knight The pope made me a saint The president plays golf with me I make Madonna faint So why am I so lonely Depressed and in despair If I pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care It was the greatest funeral, I laid in perfect state And later I will meet the lord, I bet he just can't wait To meet the man of the year I'm the man of the year Stand in line to meet the man I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man