Well I was just a boy of 12 when I first left the land I’d never seen a pump before nor held one in my hand But fate it had in store for me a different destiny When I joined the crew of the leakiest ship that ever sailed the seas We were a crew of scurvy dogs but sure we loved to pump Even though the ship we sailed was just a ragged dump Every day we pumped together standing side by side The water kept on creeping in, I thought that we might die Into the oceans of hell, my friend Into the oceans we ride Pump with both hands ’til you’re back on dry land We’re sailing the seas ’til we die Twas in the gulf of Mexico we sailed a crimson tide And all the other pirates began to run and hide “This is a devil’s omen, we cannot pump these seas” I found myself alone on deck, so the task it fell to me The pumpy quest ahead of me was ominous and grim Our ship was sinking rapidly, the red tide flowing in I battened down the hatches, prepared to do what’s right I screamed a mighty battle cry and pumped all through the night Into the oceans of hell, my friend Into the oceans we ride Pump with both hands ’til you’re back on dry land We’re sailing the seas ’til we die Then daylight came, and all was calm, the ship she did not sink And all the crew did celebrate their rescue from the brink But when they spied where I did lay, the mood it fell bereft For by the time the sun arose, I’d pumped myself to d**h