I'll have you know Oh, I'll have you know That if I had one I'd play this on piano And if I had one of those I'd sit it on my knee and count to 1, 2, 3 And if I had one of those other things You know I'd put it in my mouth And if I had some of those other things Oh, I'd put them into jars on the shelf But I'll have you know Oh, I'll have you know That if I had 10 or 20 I'd have a choir of little children sing along And I'll have you know I'll have you know That if she had one she'd put it in a paper bag If she had one she'd put it in a paper bag Oh, this long-gone grandma would put it in a paper bag Labeled 'pieces of string to small to use' Pieces of string to small to use But her, her autumn leaves are now the dirt And those summer winds did blow her hair But now she's pieces of string to small to use Oh, pieces of string to small to use What's left is pieces of string to small to use Pieces of string to small to use