Alan Menken - Human Stuff lyrics

What is it? This? Uhh… it's a dinglehopper! A what? And a perfect specimen too. You're asking the right guy. I'm a dinglehopper devotee! Say that you wanna have a hairdo Like the folks who live up there do That'll flap their wings (Flap their wings) (Right) (Squawk) Well you'll look absolutely dandy If you use one of these handy Little thingamajigs (Thingamabobs) (Jigs) (Bobs) (Squawk) Pick up a dinglehopper just like so Twirl it the way I'm twirling now Give it a little yank and there ya go You're what they call the dogs meow Wonderful stuff (squawk) The human stuff If you're a buff (squawk) Of human stuff! And we are the authority No need for us to bluff Because we're great at explainating Human stuff Okay gulls! Keep on some stuff! What's this? Hmmm. That's it! A bandit… ...Bulbous... Snarfblatt! Snarfblatt? Yep! Wow! Back when the world was prehistoral People sat as still as coral Flat upon their bumps (On the rumps) (Bumps) (Squawk) Then they would be not even thinking Bored to d**h and barely blinking Way down at the dumps (On the dumps) (At) (On) (Squawk) Then they invented snarfblatts just by chance Suddenly life was la-di-dah! Snarfblatts are what you use to make folks dance Give it a blow and then, voilá Wonderful stuff (squawk) The human stuff If you're a buff (squawk) Of human stuff It's markable Stupendable Complete A-OJ Which sounds absurd But take my word That's what the humans say Wonderful stuff (squawk) The human stuff If you're a buff (squawk) Of human stuff And since it's clear You are my dear We'll bring you up to snuff Because you'll see Our specialty is human stuff This is called an Ottoman It's used for serving soup Now what is soup? Don't ask, okay It tastes like chicken, so they say (squawk) Stick your head in here Slurp up the soup, get every bite And then make sure to wring it out So you can sleep on it at night (squawk) This is called a boa Worn at parties as a norm But only in the summer Cos it's thick but not so warm It goes with this here necklace This antique as you can tell It's missing several carrots But how ‘bout that smell? Wonderful stuff The human stuff Can't get enough Of human stuff It's practical Spectacticle As they would say divine We know because We're connoisseurs Whatever that may mean Sensible stuff The human stuff None of it fluff But human stuff And heaven knows Cos we're the pros From us you'll get no guff And when you use your Ottoman Your necklace tied beneath your chin Your boa wrapped around you like a muff Muff? Don't ask! With proper dinglehopper groomin' Rest a**ured you'll look real human We know cos we know Human stuff