Akiva Schaffer - Perfect Saturday lyrics

Intro:[Jorma] Yeah, this beat reminds me of back in the day Sunshine chillin' Man, tell 'em about your perfect Saturday [Verse 1: Jorm, Kiva, and (Ned)] Woke up at 10, no worries at all Another sunny day in LA, that's how we ball Hit my homie J cuz he rolls the blunts tight Head's still spinnin from the freaks last night Yea man, you know I got the sticky for sho And five females coming over at 4 I'ma hop in the shower, clean my nuts Throw on the Polo Sport to impress the stunts Rolling up in the Charger with the suicide doors Top down cruising as I head to the store Jim has some brews, everything that we need Then back to the crib smoking indo weed It's the perfect Saturday, there's knock on the door Man, these girls are here early, it's a quarter to 4 Man, which of these freaks I'ma see in my bed? Open the door and see my homie Ned (Oh, hey guys, how's it going?) What up, Ned? (I got 911, need to use your head) [That's a no can do, ooh your breath is all hit] (Yeah, I know , now move, I gotta take a sh**) [Now, normally Ned, the bathroom was yours But we got these fine freaks coming over at 4] (Fine freaks? Okay, new plan I'll just hold it and let out small farts for the rest of the night) [Interlude: Jorm, Kiva, and (Ned)] Okay, Ned, thanks for stopping by (You're welcome) Seriously, Ned, it was good to see you (I know) *Ned's fart noises* Listen, the freaks are gonna be here any minute We gotta get rid of this guy Hey dude, he's your friend, you should ask him to leave Listen, if the freaks come here, he cannot be here (Oh, God) *Doorbell buzzes, Ned's fart noises continue* sh**! Ah, one second What time is it? It's 4, it's them Who? The freaks? Yes, get Ned out! [Verse 2: Jorm, Kiva, and (Ned)] Ned, you gotta hop out the window (But we're on the 5th floor!) Yes, move like endo (I'm not doing that!) Then hit the bathroom on the double (The dump's in my bu*t and your toilet's in trouble) *Doorbell buzzes again, Ned's fart noises continue* [Interlude: Jorm, Kiva, (Ned), and girls] (Look, seriously I'll hold it I've been in this situation literally hundreds of times) *Large fart noise* Oh, what the f**? Oh, no I'm gonna need to borrow some pants *Door opens* Oh, hey ladies Oh, my God, it smells like f**ing d**h in here! Hey, freaks! This place smells like sh**! It was them! We're out of here Becca, wait! Oh, you guys blew it [Verse 2: Jorm and (Ned)] Well, that's too bad but we ain't mad No, in fact, we got something to show you It's down this hallway, and open up the store room (A surprise?) Yeah, man, something like that So walk out front and don't look back (What's all this plastic? Were you painting last night?) Don't worry about it, just walk towards the light (It sure is pretty) Yea, sure is Close your eyes, Ned. (You're my only friends) *Ned farts again, gunshot is heard* [Outro: Kiva] Yeah, motherf**ers You didn't think you were gonna get out of this without a fart joke, did you? You wack motherf**ers You p**y motherf**ers The f** y'all thinking? This is Lonely Island! Oh, cause we got a little paper now And you see us on the TV You think we don't do fart jokes no more? We were doing fart jokes when you were s**in' your mama's tit You fart motherf**ers, f** y'all *Fart noise*