I broke my promise on a very sharp rock And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep That's how I learned how to survive And I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking And I gave some sauce to my bestest friend for cooking And I gave water to all I thought were thirsty That's how I learned how to survive And I give my money to the bank for safe keeping And I give my money to my landlord, he was needing it And I gave attention to the TV that was bleeding That's how I learned how to survive If you ain't got the do-re-mi, boys If you ain't got the do-re-mi Well you better go back to beautiful Texas Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee California is a Garden of Eden A paradise to live in or see But believe it or not, you won't find it so hot If you ain't got the do-re-mi And we totally ripped off a man named Woody Guthrie And I bought a restaurant for his son named Alice And I fed false information to the audience That's how I learned how to survive And I give a thank you to my father for not raising me And I give a finger to my step father for beating me And I give props to myself for achieving Goddamn, I'm glad that I survived Goddamn, I am surprised that I have survived And I just handed you a giant load of gibberish And I give love to a lover quite deserving of it And I give thanks to all of you for listening To the story of how we learned how to survive