Adventure Time - Red Starved lyrics

Title: Red Starved [The episode begins in the Desert Lands. The camera pans down a gigantic pillar of sand leading to an underground city. Finn and Jake are at the base of a sand column next to some sand sculptures of soldiers.] Jake: [moans] Finn: What's wrong with you, man? Jake: I ate all the candy in your backpack, and now I'm sick. Finn: I didn't bring any candy. Jake: Oh, no. That explains why it didn't taste right. Finn: Nothing tastes right today. Like, I thought we were going to get into some serious flavor with these sand people, but they're just standing around like garnish. Jake: That's how I feel—like a dying parsley. So what's goin' on with the spoon? Marceline and the spoon. Finn: Um... [looks at the spoon on top of the column] nothing. [The spoon is lifted up and comes down.] Wait, there she goes! Marceline: [invisible] Yo, wake up, sand dude. [taps a sand soldier with the spoon, causing the sculpture to crumble.] I think they're dead. [brings spoon over to Finn and becomes visible] A spoon. Finn: [takes spoon] Yea-uh. The Spoon of Prosperity! Jake: It doesn't look like mu—[belches] [The belch echoes and causes more sculptures to crumble.] Jake: Oh, my gosh, I feel so much better! Hungry, even. Guys, let's go home! Finn: We've gotta get this spoon to Princess Bubblegum first. Jake: [running off] Let's rock! Marceline: What's PB want with that spoon, anyway? Finn: Beats me. Jake: Sometimes it's better not to know. Marceline: Yeah, I guess that's true with Bonnibel. Jake: Hey, guys, look what I found! [starts sinking in the sand] Marceline: Is that quicksand? Jake: Yeah! [laughs] [tries to get out several times but keeps falling back] Heh. Quicksand is pretty fun. Heh. Finn: Quit messing around, Jake. Jake: Okie-doke. [Jake stretches an arm from his head to the support underneath the platform Finn and Marceline are on. The support crumbles, and Finn falls.] Finn: Whoa! [More structures behind them crumble.] Jake: Hmm. Hey, is this whole place made out of sand? Marceline: Sure looks that way. Jake: Uh, give me a pull, please. [stretches his upper body to Finn and Marceline, who grab him and pull] [laughs] Stop, you guys are tickling me! Let me try this other thing. [shapeshifts his body into a corkscrew] Flesh drill! Finn: I'm not sure that's a good idea— [Jake starts drilling, rumbling the entire city.] Jake: [screams] Yaah! Rug burn! Ow! Ow! [The large pillar of sand collapses.] Jake: Aah! [escapes the quicksand] Whoo! It worked! Jake drill worked, you guys. [Marceline grabs them and floats upwards to avoid the avalanche of sand coming their way.] Finn: Whoa! Jake: Check it out! My piggies are free. [wiggles toes] Marceline: You just demolished half the underground city. Jake: Yeah, only half. Finn: You also sealed our exit. Jake: Our only exit. Marceline: [groans] [drops Jake] Jake: No regre-e-e-ets! [tumbles down a hill] I'm sorry. [touches his toe] This little piggie stayed home, and so should have I. I know! I'll dig us out of here. Finn & Marceline: No! Finn: You'll bury us alive! Marceline: Undead! Finn: [takes out his holo-pendant] Finn to PB. Come in, PB. Princess Bubblegum: Oh, hi, Finn. Finn: Princess, we're trapped in the underground city. Princess Bubblegum: Yeah-yeah. That sounds great. Finn: Huh? No, we need help! Princess Bubblegum: That's great! [display glitches] Gre-gre-great! Great, great! Finn: [sighs] Guess we lost the signal. [puts away pendant] Marceline: Any more bright ideas? Jake: Snacks! Marceline: How are snacks gonna get us out of here? Jake: I wanna eat snacks... because I am hungry. Marceline: I'm hungry, too. Bust the snacks, Finn. Jake: Bust, bust, bust! [Finn takes off his pack and dumps its contents on the ground. Jake takes a cookie out of the pile.] Marceline: Hey, where are my red erasers? They were in here. Jake: Uh-oh. I thought they were candy. Marceline: You... ate all... my red?! Jake: Oooh. I'm sorry! Finn: Calm down, Marceline. There's gotta be some red stuff in these ruins. I'll go explore. You guys hang out here and save your energy. Marceline: Thanks, Finn. Finn: [walking off] Be cool. Jake: [eats cookie] So how hungry are you? Marceline: [hisses] Jake: Aah! [cowers] I'm sorry. Please don't eat my blood! Marceline: [sighs] Jake, I don't want to hurt you, but you should know things get crazy when I'm hungry. Jake: Like... how crazy? Marceline: I'm gonna go into feral mode. [sighs] It's not gonna be pretty. Jake: [whimpers] [eats the rest of his cookie] Marceline: I know. Let's tie me up. That way, you won't be scared. Jake: And that will keep you from draining my bloods? Marceline: Not physically, no, but as a prop, I think it'll be good for both of us. You know, psychologically. Jake: [gulps] [whispers] Hurry, Finn. [Scene cuts to Finn pa**ing some streams of lava.] Finn: Red, red, red. I guess even a vampire queen's face would melt off if she tried to eat lava. [Scene switches to Marceline, who is tied up to a sand column.] Marceline: Get me a bucket of lava, Jake. Jake: [eating a sandwich] Yo, you know better than that. Marceline: Do iiiit... Jake: Don't go crazy, okay? Marceline: I'm frickin' hungry. Jake: [gulps] Why did you leave me here, dude? [bites sandwich] [Scene cuts back to Finn. He arrives at a large door of sand held up by four skeletons, behind which some red light is emanating.] Finn: Okay, here we go. Yeah, look at that! [points to red glow] Something crazy red behind this door. Hmm. [looks at skeletons] Why are y'all holding this door shut? You don't look like sand peeps, neither. More like wisemen-zerts . Oh, well. Gotta feed the Marcy monster. [walks up to door] 'Scuse me. Up, sorry. Okay. Uhh... hi-yah! [kicks the door, which collapses] Oh, dag. [Finn looks into a room full of immobile sand people bathing in the red light coming from a crown on a skeleton at the other side of the room.] Finn: Cool... What the heck happened here? [grabs a hat from one of the skeletons] Whoop! [throws hat in the red light, which turns it to sand] Ew. Whoops. Y'alls got turned into sand people. Don't go in the light. Go like this. [walks along the edge of the room] Around it. Next time, you guys. Hmm... [sees that the source of the light is coming from a hole behind the skeleton] Whatever's down there's gotta have red blasting out of every hole. Hey, you're not still alive, right? [The skeleton does not respond.] Finn: Okay. I was just making sure. [crawls into hole] Bet that guy was a creep. [continues crawling] This hole is deep. [Scene cuts back to Jake.] Jake: Oh, my Glob. Oh, my Glob, where are you, man? Marcy's wiggin' out! Marceline: Jaaaake... Jake: What? Marceline: I can smell your insides, Jake. [laughs] They smell... [sniffs deeply] red! Jake: [screams] Marceline: Yeah, lemme see in there. Jake: [screams] Marceline: Oh, yeah. Jake: [screams] [Scene cuts back to Finn.] Finn: Maybe I should go back. Well, I've already gone this far. [reaches the end of the tunnel, where a red gem is shining light] Shebang! That oughtta be enough red to un... [notices that the red light is coming from a large turtle creature behind the gem] Oops. Crab Demon: Paris? Is that you? Finn: You mean the guy with the big thing on his head? Crab Demon: Yes. Have you returned to complete the plan? Finn: Naw. Paris is, like, super dead. Crab Demon: What?! No! How long? Finn: Dude, like, a really long time. Like five hundred years. Crab Demon: [in disbelief] Five hundred—[sighs] Chum! I must've zoned out! Finn: What the heck were you two doing? Crab Demon: Once we turned the city to sand, we were gonna reanimate their bodies and conquer my homeland at the center of the planet. Finn: Hm, that's dumb. Crab Demon: Time to go back home a true loser. Finn: Can I have this big ol' ruby, then? Crab Demon: That's an emerald. Finn: Clearly it's a big ol' ruby. Crab Demon: I don't know what to tell you, man. Finn: I would like the ruby. Crab Demon: It's yours, buddy. [gets up] I'm outties. [backs out] Finn: Peace. Hyup! [jumps down and tries to pull the ruby out] [strains] [farts] Whoops. [Scene cuts to Marceline, who is buried up to her demonic face in sand.] Jake: Okay, [pats sand] all done now. Nice and snug, right? Marceline: Jake... Jake: [gulps] What? Marceline: I won't be able to... to control myself much longer. I can feel the feeding frenzy coming on. [licks teeth] I just wanna let you know I'm sorry. [laughs evilly] Jake: You're sick! Marceline: Yeah... [laughs] Jake: C'mon, Jake, think... [groans] It's no good! I need brain food. [looks at pile of Finn's junk] Oh, dang, I ate everything! [moans] I'm so hungry! Baby's gonna starve to d**h! Unless... [looks at Marceline] Marceline: What? Jake: [laughs] [licks lips] [Scene cuts back to Finn, who is pushing the ruby back through the tunnel.] Finn: [straining] [stops and cries a little] [resumes pushing] Jake: [panting] [digs a lava moat around Marceline] Marceline: What are you doing? Jake: I'm cooking up a crazy vampire! That should heat up nice! The sand will keep the meat moist. Marceline: You're gonna eat me? Jake: You was gonna eat me! Marceline: Yes, I am. [laughs] Jake: [blows lava] Cook, baby, cook! [Finn arrives with the ruby.] Jake: Finn! Finn: [falls to the ground, exhausted] Bleh. The trick is rollin' it. Phew! Check out this ruby I got. Jake: That's an emerald, dude. Finn: You too now?! Emeralds are green, boyee. Jake: This thing is green. Finn: Why is everybody messin' with me? It's like a dark gray-ish red. Mostly gray. Sometimes red things are gray! Jake: You're a little colorblind... and there's nothin' to be ashamed of! [The "ruby" is now green.] Finn: Oh... whoops. Jake: I'm sorry you had to push that thing so far. Finn: Uh, what's goin' on with Marcy? Jake: She was threatening to eat my insides, so I'm cooking her. I know that sounds crazy, but I had no choice. [Marceline is now missing.] Jake: I'm operating on my lowest survival brain function right now. What? [looks behind him to see that Marceline is gone] [gasps] Finn: Chill, man! Jake: No, we gotta book! [pushes Finn into tunnel] Go! Marceline: [floating near the ceiling] Go where, Jake? [laughs] I gotta s** out your insides first, right? Finn: Nay-nay, brah! Jake: [babbles] Marceline: Time to eat! [The ceiling rumbles.] Huh? What the—? [A large worm breaks through the ceiling. Princess Bubblegum is in its mouth, controlling it.] Finn: Bubblegum? Princess Bubblegum: Hey, guys. I saw my seismograph had gone off the charts, so I figured you might be in trouble, right? Jake: Yeah, but watch out for Marceline. She's gone rabid! Princess Bubblegum: What? Marceline's gonna rap for me? [Marceline grabs Princess Bubblegum and bites her hair.] Princess Bubblegum: [screams] Finn & Jake: [gasp] Marceline: [sighs] Woof. Thanks, Bonnie. That's enough low-grade red to get me home, at least. Come on, guys. Let's go. Finn: Are you alright, PB? Princess Bubblegum: [weakly] Did you get the Spoon of Prosperity? Finn: [takes it out of his pack] Yeah, here you go. [hands it to her] [Princess Bubblegum places it on her nose, and she returns to normal.] Finn & Marceline: Whoa. [Finn, Jake, and Marceline applaud.] Princess Bubblegum: Peeps will never starve in my eternal empire. Sand worm, up! [The sand worm leaps upward as the city fills with lava.]