Adrian Matejka - The Manly Art of Self-Defense lyrics

Chrysanthemum Joe visited Galveston to "instruct" in the art of self-defense since prize fighting was against the law in Texas back then. Joe was a dandy dressed up as a prize fighter. A sport with blond waves, a little too comfortable in his bright red costume. Joe looked small, but I heard he hit Jim Jeffries so hard the bigger man's teeth came out through his lip. Jeffries once kept a grizzly as a pet, so what does that say about Joe's disposition? It didn't matter that Joe's hair stayed fixed in place like he used maca**ar oil that he looked like he would rather be at a poetry recitation. Our meeting was the shortest fight of my career. The man pursued me like it was personal & I went down in the third thanks to a hard left to my eye. His fists were so fast I'm still looking for them. I was up quick, but the rangers stampeded the ring, six-shooters gleaming in the lights. Joe & I ended the evening in the crossbar hotel. Lucky for us Sheriff Thomas enjoyed the fistic science & "suggested" we spar to pa** the time. No ring, no gloves--just and abundance of split lips & name-calling. Joe instructed me during those long, gloveless brawls. Right-hand leads, snake-strike lefts-- all while working to duck the other man's fists. He told me, *a man that can move like you should never take a punch.*