Adam Sandler - Toll Booth Willie lyrics

Performed by adam sandler, rob schneider, tim meadows, david spade, steve koren, tim herlihy, and margaret ruden [car approaches] Toll booth willie: "welcome to worchester. dollar twenty-five please." M1: "hey, how ya doin' toll booth willie?" Toll booth willie: "good! thanks fer askin, pop!" M1: "aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a f**in' idiot!" [pays toll and drives off] Toll booth willie: "go f** yourself you son of a b**h! i'll come right outta the booth and f**in' whack ya, you f**in' prick!" [another car approaches] M2: "hey, hey, willie! hows it going?" Toll booth willie: "hey, can't complain, pop. hows 'bout you?" M2: "oh, great, great. how much?" Toll booth willie: "the state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop." M2: "that's fine. now should i give you the money, or should i shove the quarters directly up your fat a**!?" [pays toll and drives off] Toll booth willie: "why you f**in' hard on! i'll f**ing carlton fisk yer f**in' head with a louise-ville f**in' slugger! whadya think of that a** f**!?" [another car approaches] F1: "hi willie." Toll booth willie: "oh, nice to see ya m'am. not a bad day, huh?" F1: "well, i'm a little lost. could you help me out? i hear your the best with directions." Toll booth willie: "well i know my way around new england. i can tell ya that much. so where ya headed?" F1: "well, i was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your a**. you know, if you'd tell me, i'd appreciate it, you f**in' prick." [drives off] Toll booth willie: "you f**in' b**h! f** you! you forgot to pay the f**in' toll you dirty who*e! i'll f**in' drop you with a boot to the f**in' skull you cum guzzling queen!" [another car approaches] M3: "hey willie." Toll booth willie: "hey, how are ya?" M3: "here's a dollar twenty-five, and go f** yourself." [pays toll and drives off] Toll booth willie: "dah, you f**in' prick! i hope you choke on a f**in' bottle cap, ya f**in' son of a f**! eat sh**! eat my sh**!" [another car approaches] Bishop nelson: "hello willie. good to see you." Toll booth willie: "ahhh, bishop nelson. nice to see ya. that was quite a sermon you had the other day." Bishop nelson: "hey, well i do my best." Toll booth willie: "dollar twenty-five, bishop." Bishop nelson: "dollar twenty-five, willie. isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog sh**!?" [pays toll and drives off] Toll booth willie: "ohhh! have another one, you f**in' lush! it's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya f**in' douche bag!" [another car approaches] M5: "hey!" Toll booth willie: "well hey!" M5: "yeah, do you want the money, or should i just shove the quarters directly up your fat a**!?" [pays toll and drives off] Toll booth willie: "well, i already heard that one you f**in' unoriginal ba*tard! go s** a corn you f**in' piece of repeatin' sh**!" [another car approaches] F2: "hi." Toll booth willie: "oh, hi. how are ya?" F2: "fine, thank you. how much is the toll please?" Toll booth willie: "for you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five." F2: "here ya go." [pays toll] F2: "thank you." [begins to drive off] Toll booth willie: "hey! hey! honey! would you like a receipt with that?" F2: "oh, i almost forgot. thank you so much." [toll booth willie scribbling a receipt for her] Toll booth willie: "and here ya are." F2: "umm, do you think you could sign it?" Toll booth willie: "oh, uh.. sign it?" F2: "yeah, sign toll booth willie was here." Toll booth willie: "ok, sure. uhh, by the way, what is this for?" [signing receipt] F2: "just so i could have proof for my friends that i met the biggest f**in' dip sh** with the smallest dick alive. you understand." [drives off] [crumples up paper] Toll booth willie: "f** you, you f**in' upity b**h! i'll f**in' f** you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your f**in' mothers! you're gonna die, b**h! i'm comin' o The booth!" [opens the door and runs out of the booth] [car screeches and hits him] Toll booth willie: "ooooh! my f**in' leg!" M6: "hey! you ran over toll booth willie!" M7: "oh my god! i was always wondering what it would be like to run over a Dried up stinky dick licker." Toll booth willie: "why you f**in' pricks. i f**in' hear every f**in' word yer saying! when this f**in' leg heals, i'm gonna kick you guys new f**in' a**holes! [everyone cussing eachother out]