Performed by adam sandler and allen covert Richie: "so ya doin' good?" Samantha: "ya, i'm fine, how 'bout you?" Richie: "how good could i be? i haven't seen you in three hours." Samantha: "ohhh, richie. hey richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. so if i hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "ok. so look, uh, do you wanna meet at the spring fling dance thi..." [she hangs up phone] [phone rings] Richie: "hello?" Samantha: "sorry, i thought he was coming." Richie: "that's ok. so, about the dance. do you wanna meet Samantha: "umm, well my brother gets the car on friday nights." Richie: "well that's ok, i'll come by and get you. lets say around..." [she hangs up phone] Richie: "come on.." [phone rings] Richie: "hey." Samantha: "sorry. i guess he was just going to the bathroom." Richie: "that's ok. well look, uh.. what was i saying? oh yeah, should i pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin.." [she hangs up the phone again] Richie: "give me a break..." [phone rings] Richie: "hello." Samantha: "sorry. it was just my dog." Richie: "hey, what's your dad's problem anyways!? why can't we talk?" Samantha: "he just thinks i'm on the phone too much. oh my god, uh, i gotta go." Richie: "don't hang up!" Samantha: "richie, i can't talk!" Richie: "no, i'm sick of this! put your dad on the phone! i wanna talk to him." Samantha: "it's not my dad." Richie: "what? well, who's there? why can't you talk?" Samantha: "uh, just look richie, someone is here." Richie: "who's there? is it a guy!?" Samantha: "richie!" Richie: "i knew it! i'll k** him! put him on the phone!" Samantha: "oh.. it's just.. hold on." [hands phone to guy] Richie: "hey man! what the hell are you doing there!? samantha's my girl! You'd better stay away from her or i'll make you wish you were never born!" Buffoon: "f**in' sh**!" Richie: "yeah, f**in' sh** is right buddy! don't think i'm kidding around, man! i'm crazy! i'll smash your head in! i swear to god!" Buffoon: "one time i saw my grandmother in the shower. her bush starts above her belly bu*ton." Richie: "yeah, well that's too bad! but i'm still gonna come over there and beat your face in!" [richie slams down phone] Samantha: "what happened? was he mad?" Buffoon: "my neighbor's dog has a four inch clit!" Samantha: "oh buffoon, you're the coolest." [whispering] "i love you..."