Adam Sandler - Hot Water Burn Baby lyrics

[Father:] Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister. [Ryan:] baby sister [Father:] That's right, baby sister. [Ryan:] baby sister [Father:] So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister. [Ryan:] safety rules [Father:] Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby. [Ryan:] wash hands [Father:] Do you know why? [Ryan:] no [Father:] Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. [Ryan:] germs make baby sick [Father:] That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick. [Ryan:] germs make the baby sick [Father:] Okay, rule number two. [Ryan:] more rules [Father:] Don't feed the baby anything. [Ryan:] don't feed the baby. [Father:] That's right. [Ryan:] why? [Father:] Well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food. [Ryan:] why? [Father:] Oh...well, other food is bad for the baby. [Ryan:] other food bad for the baby [Father:] That's right, good. Now, rule number three. [Ryan:] more rules [Father:] Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby. [Ryan:] water bad for the baby [Father:] Well, not all water, just hot water, [Ryan:] yes [Father:] Cause hot water will burn the baby. [Ryan:] i don't understand, daddy [Father:] Okay, see this gla** of water that I'm drinking? [Ryan:] yes [Father:] Well, this water is okay for the baby. [Ryan:] yes [Father:] Here, touch the gla**. [Ryan:] yes [Father:] See, it's nice and cool. [Ryan:] yes [Father:] Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby. [Ryan:] hot water burn baby? [Father:] Yes, hot water burn baby. [Ryan:] hot water burn baby [Father:] Yes, yes, hot water burn baby. [Ryan:] hot water burn your baby [Father:] Yes. [Ryan:] baby can't go in swimming pool? [Father:] Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool. [Ryan:] yes [Father:] That's alright. [Ryan:] yes [Father:] But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby. [Ryan:] hot water burn the baby [Father:] Yes. [Ryan:] hot water burn the baby [Father:] Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby? [Ryan:] yea, baby like tea [Father:] No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet. [Ryan:] baby no like tea? [Father:] Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with? [Ryan:] ...hot water [Father:] Right, and what did we say about hot water? [Ryan:] ...oh, hot water burn baby [Father:] Yes, hot water burn baby! [Ryan:] hot water burn baby! [Father:] That's right so no tea near the baby. [Ryan:] hot water burn baby [Father:] Yes. [Ryan:] baby no take bath? [Father:] No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay. [Ryan:] yes [Father:] Hot is bad. [Ryan:] yes...hot water burn baby [Father:] Yes, hot water burn baby. [Ryan:] hot water burn baby [Father:] I think you're gettin' it! [Ryan:] hot water burn baby [Father:] That's right, Ryan. [Ryan:] hot water burn baby [Father:] NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT! [Narrator:] 30 year later! [Wife:] Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there? [Ryan:] Just watchin' the discovery channel. [Wife:] Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes. [Ryan:] Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) [Wife:] Okay, honey! [Ryan:] Yeah. [TV:] The villagers of Pasquan [Ryan:] Pasquan [TV:] have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community. [Ryan:] [garbled] [TV:] Unfortunately, the d**h rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. [Ryan:] My God. [TV:] That explains the Pasquan's low population. [Ryan:] Yeah, it does. [TV:] On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... [Ryan:] Deerskin. [TV:] ...which have been pa**ed along from generation to generation. [Ryan:] That's nice. [TV:] The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. [Ryan:] ya-yara [TV:] Each Pasquanian baby is then pa**ed, hand to hand, around the circle... [Ryan:] Wow. [TV:] ...four times. [Ryan:] Four times. [TV:] Once for the sun,... [Ryan:] Hmm. [TV:] ...once for the moon,... [Ryan:] The moon. [TV:] ...once for the earth,... [Ryan:] The earth. [TV:] ...and once for the wind. [Ryan:] The wind, too. [TV:] When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... [Ryan:] What? [TV:] ...where the ceremonial purification will be completed. [Ryan:] What are you saying here? [TV:] As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the deerskin shells... [Ryan:] No. [TV:] ...and dunk them into the steaming water. [Ryan:] No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby! [Father:] That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby. [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Wife:] Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay? [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Father:] Hot water burn most definitely burn baby. [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Father:] That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby! [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Father:] You are a b**h, Ryan! [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Wife:] Ryan, are you alright? [Father:] Hot water burn the baby! [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Wife:] Ryan! [Father:] What are you gonna do, who*e? [Wife:] Ryan! [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Father:] b**h! [Wife:] Ryan! What's going on out there? [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Father:] who*e! [Wife:] Who are you talking to? [Father:] b**h! [Ryan:] I'm talking to the man! [Father:] who*e! [Ryan:] Hot water burn baby! [Wife:] Ryan! [Father:] b**h! Ryan is a who*e!