Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah Once again it's onaka The miracle of Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights One day of presents, hell no, we get eight crazy nights But if you still feel like the only kid in two without a Christmas tree I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you, so here comes number three Ross and Phoebe from Friends say the Chanukah blessing So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will & Grace's Debra Messing Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mix meat with dairy Maybe they shoulda called that show "Little Kosher House on the Prairie" We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow, I'm Jewish Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Chanukah Osama bin Laden, not a big fan of the Jews Well maybe that's 'cause he lost a figure skating match to gold medalist Sarah Hughes, her mama's Jewish Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets with such precision But the one thing they could not get out of - their painful circumcisions As for half-Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one And Marlon Brando, not a Jew at all, but it looks to me like he ate one Gwenyth Paltrow's half-Jewish, but a full time Oscar winner Jennifer Conelly's half-Jewish too, and I'd like to put some more in her There's Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell, Beck, and Paula Abdul Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew School Natalie Portmonika, it's time to celebrate Chanukah I hope I get an abtronika, on this joyful, toyful Chanukah So get a high colonika, and soil your Long Johnikas If you really, really wannaka Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah