The cats nestle close to their kittens, The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You are cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. Please go the f** to sleep. The windows are dark in the town, child. The whales huddle down in the deep. I'll read you one very last book if you swear You'll go the f** to sleep. The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest And the creatures who crawl, run and creep. I know you're not thirsty. That's bullsh**. Stop lying. Lie the f** down, my darling, and sleep. The wind whispers soft through the gra**, hon. The field mice, they make not a peep. It's been thirty-eight minutes already. Jesus Christ, what the f**? Go to sleep. All the kids from day care are in dreamland. The froggie has made his last leap. Hell no, you can't go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f** to sleep. The owls fly forth from the treetops. Through the air they soar and they sweep. The hot, crimson rage fills my heart, love. For real: shut the f** up and sleep. The cubs and the lions are snoring (snore) Wrapped in a big, snuggly heap. How come you can do all this other great sh** But you can't lie the f** down and sleep? The seeds slumber beneath the earth now, And the crops that the farmers will reap. No more questions, this interview's over. I've got two words for you, kid: f**ing sleep. The tiger reclines in the Siberian jungle. The sparrow has silenced her cheep. f** your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you sh**. Close your eyes, cut the crap: sleep. Flowers doze low in the meadows And high on the mountains so steep. My life is a failure, I'm a sh**ty-a** parent. Stop f**ing with me please, and sleep. The giant pangolins of Madagascar are snoozing As I lie here and openly weep. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll bring you some milk. Who the f** cares? You're not gonna sleep. This room is all I can remember. The furniture crappy and cheap. You win! You escape, you run down the hall As I nod the f** off and sleep. Bleary and dazed I awaken To find your eyes shut, so I keep My fingers crossed tight, as I tip-toe away And pray that you're f**ing asleep. We're finally watching our movie. Popcorn's in the microwave: "beep!" Oh sh**, goddamn it, you've got to be kidding. Go the f** back to sleep!