All around the city they are coming in their U-Hauls and their Ryders They pack their fragile items in old love letters and move in right beside us This place was a mistake, she looks to next September He thought it was a quake but it only was a tremor And now their hearts will break 'cause I went and lost my temper And I'd like to say I'm sorry All around the world the brides have registered from Brooklyn Heights to Moscow All around this town your friends are telling me that I'm much better off now I have done your bidding to your specifications I made you a gift of the remainder of my patience Only to be told that I was too complacent And I'd like to say I'm sorry But everything I try hurts Everything I try hurts Everything I try hurts New York, Boston I thought it would be easy once you had the grace to give me your number Your folks, my folks Every other Christmas but we never even made it through summer This is too hard, I don't know how to do this It's really such a shame you've devised all the excuses Because as couples go we were just about the cutest So aren't you even sorry? I have burned all your pots and pans I have over-watered all your plants I have wept all over this romance And I'd like to say I'm sorry But everything I try hurts Everything I try hurts Everything I try hurts (New York, Boston)