Abie Rotenberg - The Wedding Song lyrics

"Katz's wedding consultant Agency" "Hello Katz, this is Hershkoivitz" "Hershkoivitz…" "Ya ya Hershkoivitz, Feivel" "Feivel Hershkoivitz, how are you Feivel" "Boruch Hashem, vismachester reb yid" "I'm fine, what can I do for you" "I tell you the truth, I called because I get a big mazel tov, my daughter chanie became a kallah "Ah mazel tov, that's wonderful news , what can I do to help you" "Well I tell you the the truth, I never made a chasunah before, and I need some advice for what I should I do" "You came to the right person, come here boys, Mr. Hershkoivitz wants to know how to make a chasunah. Hit it!" Well the first thing I must say is you're going on display And what will people think if the wedding isn't nice None of the neighbors on your block have to know you're in hock So no matter what it costs it's worth the price It's worth the price, it's worth the price Now the kallah's wedding gown should be the talk of the town Designed from top to bottom just for her And although it will be June when the heat can make you swoon Make sure you buy your wife a real nice fur No your guests will not be bored when they see that smorgasbord, With chopped liver piled up to the sky. And the band that you bring in should have 16 violins, Each one in a white tuxedo and black tie. The wine I'm sure know it has to be French Bordeaux, Brought in on a shining silver tray. And the flowers don't forget should be Holland's very best, Flown in on the Concorde that same day. The main course I wont fib must be succulent prime rib Thick and juicy filling up the plate Never mind the calories bring on the table Viennese, The next morning they can starve to watch their weight The photographer should know how to shoot a video Everyone invited gets their very own ca**ette And no bentchers - that's old hat you can do better than that Why not give a brand new shas to every guest You're a mishiga Katz, that's not what I had in mind" "So what did you have in mind Mr. Hershkoivitz?" "I wanted something a little little bit more modest" "I can't hear you" "I said I wanted something a little bit more modest" "Oh, you want modest? That's ok, no problem." So on the invitation write, in a ways that's real polite, That the women should dress tznius, "if you pelase", Because we're dealing with a crowd, that is also very proud, Of how it keeps the laws of modesty. "So Hershkoivitz what do you say, we got a deal Hershkoivitz, Hershkoivitz, … he hung up on me, I can't believe, what a nice simple wedding…"