Abby Ahmad - Up and Through lyrics

I cannot be the boss of me I've been reduced to puppetry Cause it takes you To make me function properly I've made it so that I can't breathe Through the staleness of this stagnancy Dependency I'm married to my misery This year's been an eternity Denying the maternity Of my own rebirth You see, I scare me Who am I if not yours? What defined me before? Call it laziness Call it fear But I am stuck in neutral gear I am my own catastrophe A result of inactivity The more I sit here idly The more my pain precedes me Dissection to the worst degree My thoughts agree to disagree It's agony, anarchy Don't fade on me But with the hurt Comes clarity Pawned my heart for new eyes to see Every recycled memory Bringing a new epiphany The love that left me craving more Sent you running for the door Call it craziness, my dear To be stuck in neutral gear Oh, and how I long to be Floating fast Flying free Feeling the best parts of me High above the wreckage Reelecting bravery Summoning the strength to be Okay with me Pray you'll see The moral in my message: I will not move on from you But I will move up and through And in directions I never knew...