Some say the end is near Some say we'll see Armageddon soon I certainly hope we will I sure could use a vacation from this Bullsh** three ring circus sideshow of freaks Here in this hopeless f**ing hole we call L.A The only way to fix it is to flush it all away Any f**ing time. Any f**ing day Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay Fret for your figure and Fret for your latte and Fret for your lawsuit and Fret for your hairpiece and Fret for your Prozac and Fret for your pilot and Fret for your contract and Fret for your car It's a bullsh** three ring circus sideshow of freaks Here in this hopeless f**ing hole we call L.A The only way to fix it is to flush it all away Any f**ing time. Any f**ing day Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay Some say a comet will fall from the sky Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip sh**s Some say the end is near Some say we'll see Armageddon soon I certainly hope we will cause I sure could use a vacation from this Stupid sh**, silly sh**, stupid sh**... One great big festering neon distraction I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied Learn to swim. [3x] Mom's gonna fix it all soon Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be Learn to swim f** L Ron Hubbard and f** all his clones f** all these gun-toting Hip gangster wannabes Learn to swim f** retro anything f** your tattoos f** all you junkies and f** your short memory Learn to swim f** smiley glad-hands With hidden agendas f** these dysfunctional Insecure actresses Learn to swim Cause I'm praying for rain And I'm praying for tidal waves I wanna see the ground give way I wanna watch it all go down Mom, please flush it all away I wanna see it go right in and down I wanna watch it go right in Watch you flush it all away Time to bring it down again Don't just call me pessimist Try and read between the lines I can't imagine why you wouldn't Welcome any change, my friend I wanna see it all come down Bring it down s** it down Flush it down