[Intro] (You again) (Are you following me?) (Why no, I'm stalking you) (From a distance I desired her Se-secretly admired her From a distance I desired her Se-secretly admired her) [Verse 1] I stroll through the mall Running my finger along the wall I just left a restroom stall Got a strange way of moving Strange way of dressin' Strange way of making a, good first impression Member's Only jacket, unidentified packet Sungla**es, jeans washed with acid, newspaper in the back I also got a dagger strapped to my leg But who knows what I'm gonna do with that A sick f** without employment Hankering in every single shopping center for my own enjoyment I'm checking out a girl that's fly She's working at the MAC make-up counter, next to Best Buy Waiting by the elevator, tryna look busy So I can figure out what I'm gonna tell her later First time I met her I didn't really meet her I was making change as she was purchasing a peter I gave her money back, she gave me a look Batted her, eyelashes that was all that it took Now she owes me, cause it's obvious she wants me I'm looking at you, girl I must have you [Sample of someone talking] Cause you're the one You are the unspoiled virgin bride You are the blonde canvas on which I will paint my future Don't you remember you smiled at me once at the croissant tray [Verse 2] Quirky and eccentric, I'm a true fiend I know her routine, her eyes are blue green I guess they're contacts cause they used to be brown Plus I watched her get 'em at the optician downtown I'm always scoping her usually from far away She rides the silver Audi off to work everyday Except for Thursday she gets a ride from her mother Or some other dude 'til I k** that motherf**er Forget the narrative, I'm thinking horse drawn carriages And marriages, she likes to eat asparagus, so I think Cause it stinks when I'm hanging out At her bathroom sink, having a drink When she's at the shrink Yo she never should've winked Now I got her name on my arm in ink I'm in her closet stroking her mink Looking for the missing link But all I find is Pink and N'Sync She's sweet, sixteen and good, yet she's calling me a creep Cause I'm sneaking through her backyard just to watch her sleep Rain snow or sleet, you gotta understand No matter where she goes, there I am, the stalker [Hook] (From a distance I desired her Se-secretly admired her From a distance I desired her Se-secretly admired her) Alright wanna do what I do Listen this is how it goes [Verse 3] Find out where she works, go online, do a search Dig up some dirt, put on a shirt, buy some Certs But look like a regular guy, don't go berserk You whole goal's to flirt, but for now you gotta lurk Pretend you're a customer, grab yourself a map And throw an extra sweater in the bag from The Gap And keep a low pro, but don't look conspicuous And don't wear that Iceberg (why?), it looks ridiculous Grab a trench, find a bench near the wench Put your elbows on your lap and just sit there like that Nah, it sounds dreadful but find out her schedule If she gotta close, you gotta rock the janitor's clothes And change thrash 'til your knees hurt Water plants in the short sleeve shirt till she leaves work And if she's off at eleven? Be outside with your lights out and the engine revvin' [Engine revving] [Older guys talking] Well, I realised recently that I'm getting older, and I, the way I knew this was that young teenage girls don't even acknowledge me as a s**ual being. Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that I wanna have s** with teenage girls, throw me a bone, you know, how about a smile, you know what I mean? Nothing, nothing unless it's to turn to their friends and go. "Why is that weird guy looking at us?". (laughing) "What's he doing at the mall? We get to the food court, the guards there, run you guys". (laughing) I lied, I lied, I lied, I, of course I wanna have s** with teenage girls, (laughing) doesn't everyone? (laughing even louder) I mean, that's why there's a law. (everyone laughs) If no one wanted to do it, THERE WOULDN'T BE A LAW! (everyone laughs) Wait, do you think they pull 18 out of thin air?