ILLHOVA - In-sane lyrics

(Verse 1) If I keep on with this rapping What is it worth? The question I keep on asking Why does it hurt? So badly, when actually I care so much about her So when i slip up on my problems I'm making her concerned Sometimes I'm suicidal Sometimes I want to burn Sometimes the people I know Struggling and living worse I be the first for arrival No hospital going to fix me You either with me or against me Moments making me feel empty I'm the one of many To take on any and everything If you let me Fake people be friendly My father exposed me to music He spinning, handing him records Mother exposed me, As a kid To take on adventures Both put me under pressure Well I believe we already live in hell I'm not living no fairy tale In and out of nervous breakdowns I mean could you tell? In person I'm always versing myself I could never rise up and succeed Unless I fall down and fail (Verse 2) Doing things that could probably k** me All these d** taking over I wonder who's the real me Listening to my music Telling me, you don't really feel me This isn't no act I don't get a Oscar This no filming I live objected by my thinking Use my depression as a excuse For my drinking Let me sink in Dive and die Drowning in this poison I can't even have the girl i want I lost my chances She's avoiding me She's dissapointed in me She could never tell me the real reason Why those eyes look so guilty Im filthy Im pathetic I said things in my life I never meant it My heart lost with Your presence Your presence saved me From being reckless Took me in a better direction Recording these sessions So much pain and aggression I can be insane I confess it I take this pride, swallow Digest it I hate arguments Always contesting Im doing this For many reasons Im losing it My thoughts change with the seasons How am i dreaming If i'm not even sleeping Cause these things happen And always leave me grieving I can't stand this constant feeling I'd rather stay seated I want to be that person That you look at and believe in...