Illbert - Character lyrics

[Verse 1: illbert] Yeah I'm a f**ed up, sick self-absorbed a**hole I'll ha**le you, you want some spit? Here's a gla**ful King of the castle, I'm the male alpha Little rascal, bad hair like Alfalfa I'll scalp ya, like an overzealous hair stylist Do what you gotta do to stay off of my list Rarely raise my eyelids, too busy being high, b**h My privates would like to find their way between your thighs, b**h My now you've surmised that I'm a f**ing dickwad Until you s** me you're the headless who*e, I'm Ichabod Cold like Iditarod, I froze your mouth now is it thawed? Blasphemous a**hole, yo, I spit on God Your logic's flawed, so take a dose of mine Let's see what sense you can make out of Joe's sick mind Did you hear that personal recursion? What kinda guy speaks in the third person? Ha! The kind that I'm worse than f**, sh**, god damn it I'm cursin' It's unnervin', I'm not deservin' Of sympathy, cause my mind's so disturbin' I'm on the verge of mergin' with the version Of the world in my head behind the curtain I'm quite certain, you might say positive Abilities cognitive are my prerogative I'm provocative, I'd claim to make you think But I'm not sure you can, cause you're the weak link You sober's like me after six drinks And I'm gone before you can blink [Verse 2: illbert] What you've got here is a chance to eat my thoughts up If you could see them all, you'd want me locked up It's a toss-up, am I a hero or a villain? Depends on who you ask, and who I'm feelin' Oooh, I'm chillin', kicked back, co*ky Most thrilling word spiller this side of the Rockies I'm a mountain, more like a molehill Hey b**h, would you like to have your hole filled? Like Michael Scofield, you can't contain me I'm dropping references just to prove I'm brainy Clearly egomania's part of my character But I'm the narrator, so I don't care if you're mad I'll flip a pair of birds I barely heard you anyways Too busy eating breakfast- bacon, pancakes, Denny's eggs I slam with grandeur, your grandpa's got cancer You got a question? I am the answer So give me a fanfare, da-da-dah If you anger me, I'll come for ya I won't murder or maim, just humiliate Better call your boss and tell him you'll be really late Cause I affiliate with nations that facilitate Torture, I'll waterboard ya, don't asphixiate Just breathe, I pollute the air when I exhale I got a sick mind, twisted like a pretzel If you don't like me well then take the track and mute it But be aware if it's not there then you cannot dispute that Something about my own voice is therapeutic Cause I'm the (a piece of) sh** according to my own rubric [Bridge: illbert] Detest me, but don't arrest me Seven sins, and I'll confess these: Sip Hennessy, and smoke the best weed Is that wrath, greed, pride, sloth, or envy? I got plenty of empty-head etudes Don't recommend that the sensitive stay tuned Cause lately I ain't been a great dude If you don't hate me, well then I hate you