I was born in a bar in '45 It's sure a wonder this boy's alive I feel no pain but i'm getting so dry Take me to a brewery and leave me there to die I went to chicago they put me in a bed I turned bright yellow they thought that i was dead For the next six months they said avoid temptation I said fine i'll drink in moderation One bottle a day - of scotland's finest If i learned to love and i learned to sing I would know a little bit of everything I put a message in a bottle i was stranded on a rock Send another gallon 'cos i'm running out of stock I can see you in my little bottle You are laughing and i am too When you're empty and i'm gone Then they will laugh And throw us both away