Ian Dury - Bed O. Roses No. 9 lyrics

I've done a lot of things I wished I hadn't There's other things I never hope to do But sliding off the map in both directions Is the sorry mess I made of knowing you I've seen a lot of things I wished I hadn't There's other things I never hope to see But no one left alive could paint the picture Of the mess that knowing you has made of me I knew it wouldn't be a bed of roses I've seen the bloody grind that love entails But one door shuts and then another closes And now I'm on a bloody bed of nails Been told a lot of things I wished I hadn't There's other things I never want to know But sliding off the scale of least remembrance Is the way you chose to tell me where to go I've been a lot of things I wished I hadn't There's other things I never hope to be But no one left alive could tell the story Of what I was once you'd got done with me I knew it might turn out to be a schtumer Nothing would surprise me anymore You robbed me of my natural sense of humour And then you nailed my bollocks to the door I knew it might turn out to be a schtumer Nothing would surprise me anymore You robbed me of my natural sense of humour And nailed my poor cojones to the door