[Bernstein] Hey Seymour Krelborn, you prince you My name is Bernstein, I'm with N.B.C I came down here to convince you To do a weekly T.V. show for me Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips For half and hour on Saturday's at four T.V.'s first home-gardeing program You'll make a mint and our ratings will soar Chorus [Girls]: They say the meek shall inherit You know the book doesn't lie It's not a question of merit It's not demand and supply They say the meek gonna get it And you a meek little guy You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to 'em by and by [Mrs. Luce] I'd like a word with you, lover I'm sure you know me, the Editor's wife We want your face on the cover Of the December 3rd issue of Life Yes the front of Life Magazine Thats an honor we so seldom grant We'll send someone down, let's say Thursday For shots of you and your beautiful plant Chorus [Skip Snip] Forget the cable we sent you It's nice to meet you, the pleasure is yours Now let my firm represent you We want to book you on lecturing tours College campus, Rotary Club The kind of bookings my office can do Show the plant, then talk, answer questions It's educational, lucrative too [SEYMOUR] Mys future's starting, I've got to let it Stick with that plant and gee My bank account will thrive What am I saying? No way! Forget it! It's much too dangerous to keep the plant alive I take these offers That means more k**ing Who knew success would come with Messy, nasty strings? I sign these contracts That means I'm willing To keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things! No! No! There's only so far you can bend No! No! This nightmare must come to an end No! No! You've got no alternative Seymour old boy Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed It's the only solution, It can't be avoided- The vegetable must be destroyed! But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey If life were tawdry and impoverished as before She might not like me, she might not want me Without my plant, she might not love me anymore [Girls] They say the meek shall inherit You know the book doesn't lie It's not a question of merit It's not demand and supply You'll make a fortune, we swear it If on this fact you rely You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to 'em By and by