How To Dress Well - The Speed Dial lyrics

[Verse 1: How to Dress Well] A lady won't always tell you what's on her mind But if you look close enough you can see the signs Nights like this got me reminiscing about the time When Jerry first saw her name on the speed dial [Interlude 1: Seinfeld Clip] George: So you're on the speed dial? Jerry: After two dates! George: What number? Jerry: 7 George: Wow! You know it's a pain to change that, you've gotta lift up that plastic thing with a pen [Sample: Notorious B.I.G.] Girlfriend here's a pen, call me round ten Come through, have s** on rugs that's Persian *Repeat x2* [Verse 2: How to Dress Well] Seven wasn't good enough for Jerry He had to be number one So Jerry He wined her and dined her Champange and roses I guess that's just how it's done I guess that's just how it's done Oh Jerry Teach me just how it's done [Interlude 2: Seinfeld Clip] Valerie: Flowers You didn't need to do that I mean the dinner And the play And the handsome cab ride Jerry: Well I just wanted to make sure you forgot the gift certificate from barnes and nobel You know to make a good impression Valerie: I'm going to put these in some water Jerry: I like the way you think Oh my god, number one! [Verse 2: How to Dress Well] People get jealous for the strangest reasons And Jerry Seinfeld was no exception What! That's how found himself at her stepmothers place She was giving him so much affection Oh Mrs. Hamilton I don't mean no disrespect But I can't be on two girls dials I'll just slide you under an emergency bu*ton Ooh I think I like your style [Hook] He was still on the speed dial Still covertly on the speed dial Jerry still on the speed dial *repeat* [Interlude 2: Seinfeld Clip] Jerry: Hello? Valerie: Who's this? Jerry: It's Jerry, who's this? Valerie: *gasp* — It's Valerie! Jerry: Oh hi Valerie, what's up? Valerie: It'll tell you whats up! My stepmother is violently ill, so I hit the bu*ton for poison control and I get you Jerry: Oh wow, poison control, that's even higher than number one! [Hook] Jerry still on the speed dial Still covertly on the speed dial *repeat until fade out*