Hotel Books - I’m Almost Happy Here lyrics

I think I’m almost happy here But I will never regret venturing despite fear Because everyone wanted me to see that we could not thrive So if this is reality, then I guess I don’t regret the nights I thought that I had died Cause sometimes I feel like nothing, and nothing ever changes when changes consume me through these changing stages Everything we could have done differently is now just a memory And the love I hoped for is hanging on a rope and it’s funny how artistic we become when our hearts are broken Through this constant collapse, the thought of relapse I guess it’s safe to throw our bones back in the sea I guess it’s safe to throw our bones back in the sea With this saltwater for blood and fear of falling in love I’m almost happy here but I’m still moving I just want us to run wild, young beauty Because I always thought I would be okay, and some days I still feel the same, but everyday the same way I feel afraid to embrace grace Cause I know I don’t deserve it And I know that I can’t earn this, and I know that I can hurt this heart that I have grown within But it’s a a given to even someone as sick as me Now I can breathe seeing that I’m not living in apathy So I guess we’ll throw our bones back into the sea I guess it’s safe to throw our bones back into the sea Come with me And I hope I stay alive because ghosts can’t love through this broke love and turn to above In a quick dash, feel the impact on this car crash, and pray to God I can be forgiven and have my friends back Where we sleep is where we dream, and I haven’t slept for days REM cycles are a memory of when I was sitting in a dorm room, thinking of how much greener the gra** would be if I became a touring act someday But now I’m dreaming or sinking, most nights they feel the same since I can lose one friend, lose all friends and still not keep those demons at bay And I said all my friends are trees, with the roots in the earth, what hurts is that the branches in a community, we’ve labeled our hearts into a collective scene, into a collective faithless dream of empty courage and empty hearts Hollow light, hollow lovers, always falling apart So I’ll love life and let go and try my best to understand there’s nothing new to know Though I didn’t say it’s true, I still feel the same, like I died with you And I feel the strain, taking two steps back on these wooden floorboards, I’ll beg for more, and pray this isn’t just a retrospective moment Not just a soul begging for catharsis, but rather the start of a new me and a real movement