Horrible Histories - Cra**us: Minted lyrics

[CRASSUS] I'm Marcus Licinius Cra**us No rich man could ever surpa** us Wanted people to say I was brave But I lost my first fight and hid in a cave Living there could be a pauper's nightmare But if you're rich like me then you don't care I called my slave to the cave to ask it To cook a feast and lower in a basket Those Romans think they're minted But they ain't rich like me You can't call yourself loaded Till you can buy an army Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar They're more famous than me But I'm the worlds richest geezer There's no-one richer than me I'm minted! I back General Sulla Everyday my wallet got fuller Took the land off enemies to flog it Used the cash to fill my pocket If I heard of a house on fire I'd rush over and be a quick cash buyer My fireman would then douse the flames, boom! Another big house to my name Those Romans think they're minted But they ain't rich like me You can't call yourself loaded Till you can buy an army Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar They're more famous than me But I'm the world's richest geezer There's no-one richer than me I'm minted! I bought an army for fighting Spartacus At the start my men lost heart-acus I k**ed on in ten in a k**ing spree So they were more scared of me than the enemy Smashed the slaves, it got real gory But then Pompey stole my glory To show it was me that crushed the horde Nailed up the slaves like on a billboard They're splinted! Not enough to be a politician Wanted triumph, took my army on a mission Got owned by the Parthian Persians They k**ed me, but you'll hear two versions The famous one's quite hard to follow They gave me boiling gold to swallow But the true way they made me pay They used my head as a prop in a play! Embarrasing! Those Romans think they're minted But they ain't rich like me You can't call yourself loaded Till you can buy an army Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar They're more famous than me But I'm the world's richest geezer There's no one richer than me