Horrible Histories - The Monarchs' Song (The English Kings and Queens) lyrics

I'm William the Conqueror My enemies stood no chance They call me the first English king Although I come from France 1066, the Doomsday book I gave to history So fat on d**h my body burst But enough about me To help remember all your kings I've come up with this song A simple rhyme and ditty For you all to sing along (oooh) Oh, William Bit short init? We need more kings. Who came next? William second, cheeks were red k**ed out hunting, so it's said I took over, Henry one That's my next eldest son Then King Stephen, it's true check it! I, Henry two, k**ed Thomas Beckett Richard Lionheart? That's right! Always spoiling for a fight Oh King John, what a disaster Rule restrained by Magna Carta William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Time for my mate, King Henry eight To take up this song Henry three built the abbey Ed one hated Scotts A red hot poker k**ed Ed two That must have hurt him lots Edward third was a chivalry nerd Began the hundred years war Then Richard two was king aged ten Then Henry, yes one more King Henry four, plots galore Not least from Henry five, Moi? I k**ed ten score at Agincourt Then Henry six arrived (waa) Edward four, Edward five Richard the third, he's bad Cause he fought wars with Henry seventh First Tudor and my dad So Henry eight, I was great Six wives, two were beheaded Edward the sixth came next But he died young and so my dreaded Daughter Mary ruled, so scary Then along came... Me I'm Liz the first, I had no kids So Tudors RIP William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bes That's me, time for more men James six of Scotland next As England James the first he led Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the first The one who lost his head No monarchy until came me Charles two, I liked to party King Jimmy two was scary, (woooh) Then Mary was a smarty She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled By sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria And so from then, you were ruled by men Till along came me Victoria William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria Still to come, it's Queen Victoria And so began the Hanover gang George one and George two (grim) Then George the third was quite absurd Till I replaced old him King George the fourth and known henceforth As angry, fat and cross (hang on) It's true you beat Napoleon But were mostly a dead loss (bang on) Old William four was a sailor (ahoy) It's nearly the end of the story-a As onto the scene comes the best loved queen Hail to Queen Victoria-aaa William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria George, George, George, George Will, Victoria Victoria Victoria Victoria I ruled for sixty four years, you know Ed seven, George five Then Ed, George sixth Liz two then reigned and how And so our famous monarch song Is brought right up to now, oh William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria George, George, George, George Will, Victoria Edward, George, Edward, George six And Queen Liz two completes the mix That's all the English kings and queens Since William first that there have been