Horrible Histories - William Wallace lyrics

I am William Wallace My life was a mystery Some say born twelve seven two Some say twelve sixty three Was dubbed Malcolm of Paisley Maybe Alan from Aire Did I have a wife or no? Do you really care? They say I had a big, red beard But all you need to know I was a Scottish rebel And the English were my foe William Wallace, Scottish rebel! This is war I cried! Many English fought me And many English died! I took against the English Back when I was fairly wee 'Cause an Englishman called Selby Bullied my whole family It upset me, so I struck him dead Well, wouldn't you? Then an English sheriff came along Guess what, I k**ed him too! They say he k**ed my wife So he deserved what he got Then England's King Ed came for me Ooh, I'm scared! Not! William Wallace, Scottish rebel! Possibly six feet seven But all that really matters is I sent Englishmen to heaven! Forty thousand English came To Stirling Bridge for me They had to cross a narrow bridge To get to us, you see We held them off, pushed them back It was no contest Bridge collapsed, hundreds drowned Of course I k**ed the rest! I celebrated Stirling Bridge Another Scottish win By decorating my sword With the English general's skin William Wallace, Scottish rebel! Scottish legend too Fought for Scottish freedom Was a hero through and through Here's where my rebel story comes unstuck At Falkirk defeated, I'd run out of luck Spent seven years playing hide and seek Captured, sent to London, tried for treason What a cheek! King Ed hanged me, then a lovely touch Pulled my guts out, guess he didn't like me much! William Wallace, Scottish rebel! In Scotland my heart lived Though sadly, my head wound up On a spike on London Bridge! Ooh, that smarts!