Horrible Histories - Hieroglyphics lyrics

Settle down, cla** Now you've pa**ed Your grade one pyramid selling Yeah, the time has come For me to drum Some facts into you about spelling Oh, it seems to me Your abc Sk**s are less than terrific So buck up, boys As we master the joys Of the lovely hieroglyphics! Everyone needs their abc It's as simple as... Vulture, foot, basket You know how to sing doh-ray-me Easy to spell, it's... Hand, eye-thingy, owl Abc Vulture, foot, basket Doh-ray-mee Hand, eye-thingy, owl You'll pa** with ease And find it's a breeze The rules are scientific Don't have to be smart All you do is start With simple phonetic glyphics Next you get two letters, a set More things called logographic Finally third, the form of a word Determinitives... Horrific! Everyone needs their... Flamingo, house, sun It's simple, but 'sun' can mean duck, everyone You all know how to write your name Except for me - Tutanephututakhamen Flamingo, house, sun Means duck to some Tutanephututakhamen Let's leave that one! If you find it hard, don't be afraid To go and ask your mummy for aid Now it's time for a spelling bee That's not how you spell bee, see me! Foot, reed, reed, easy! Cat, pig, dog, rat, dog, frog Make your spelling magnific You can go up and down Left and right and around No punctuation in hieroglyphics A, B, C, D, E, F, G Just seven hundred characters or so Now that's done Let's have some fun With numbers, here we go! Everyone needs their 1, 2, 3 It's as simple as... Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye You can all count to ninety-nine Easy to write it's... Hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye 1, 2, 3 Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye eye Ninety-nine Hoop hoop hoop hoop, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye... Basket?