Horrible Histories - Dick Turpin Or Stand And Deliver lyrics

Everyone thinks they know the story Of Dick Turpin's highway glory But my past was far more gory Was no saint You think life is one big antic My profession is romantic Hate to be pedantic But it ain't HA As a butcher down in Ess** I was handy with a knife Had a sideline as a poacher led a lest than honest life A notorious gang of Gregory Liked my stile and dedication They signed me up and gave me A real robber's education We rampaged through the Ess** farms We stole and robbed and fought But when the law came for us I escaped and they got caught I became I highway man Was daylight robbery HA I was no prince charming Nothing dandy about me HA The truth is, I was violent And with my good mate, Matt King Robbed travelers at gunpoint Money, watches, anything! My horse wasn't called black Bess Although that's what you've read Was no romantic hero Shot but one but two men dead The legend that surrounds me Misses out the crucial part I was a ruthless k**er With a ruthless k**er's heart I was a vicious highwayman A source of pain and tears HA When you hear how my story ends You won't believe your ears HA I ran away to Yorkshire Changes my name to John Palmer Was sent to prison Stealing chickens from a farmer Wrote a letter to my family A plea it did relate The postman saw the envelope And here's the twist of fate He had taught me how to write So he'd knew I'd lied "that's not John Palmer's hand! That's Dick Turpin's!" he cried! I was a vicious highway man My crimes had brought me fame HA Was stitched up by a postie That's not glamorous THAT'S LAME! HA No more stand and deliver You'll remember this I hope HA It's no fun hanging with highwaymen When you're... Hanging from a rope!